Hello everyone, I'm Anthony
Welcome to my channel

In this video, I want to talk to you about the ability to love
And why
True love promotes individuality

What are those immature loves like?

Of course this topic
It is still a continuation of the content of the last two videos.

I will post this video
Put it in the list of "Psychology and Education"

If you have anything you want to discuss with me
and consultation topics
You can contact my email to make an appointment

but
Before you begin
I would like to first respond to some questions from netizens

In the last two videos
We discussed
Behind the obsession with steel-coiled girls and white, thin and young girls
Possible psychological motivations

That
Some netizens raised objections in the comment section

For example, some people think
I am completely denying the white, thin and young aesthetic
and cute culture

Some people say this is a kind of aesthetic bullying

I think this is a complete misunderstanding of my meaning.
It's a stress response

I have made it very clear in the previous video.
Fair, cute, or childish appearance
Of course, it can be used as a diversified aesthetic
Being appreciated and loved

The key is
You are subconscious
What kind of emotions are projected onto this appearance?

If a person only has this kind of aesthetic
And he subconsciously
Treating the white, thin and young appearance as a kind of clumsiness,
Unintelligent, immature,
When uncivilized symbols are used to project emotions
So this might explain
This person is mature,
There is a fear of confident and smart beauty

This fear may reflect some kind of trauma
We need to see and analyze this trauma

If you don’t fall into the above situation
If you can see from a white, thin and young person
Feeling spiritual, intelligent, independent and confident
So
You have admiration and love for such a lovely person
Of course there's no problem

For example, I also like cute things.
Or some people show a childish, regressive side
This is all completely normal.
I would do the same

But this does not mean
I can only like the other person's childhood,
Cute and sunny side

What I really like
It is the richness, comprehensiveness and complexity of this person

Maybe this person is aggressive.
There is ambition, darkness and trauma on the other side
But these
This is also what I want to understand and appreciate.

I won't do it because the other person has a cute side
Deny or refuse to see the other side

I think this is easy to understand.
A person's regression and infantilization
It is a normal phenomenon

The premise is that the parties have full freedom of choice
She can be safe, loved and appreciated
Voluntary retreat

For example, a mature, independent and strong woman
In a safe and intimate environment
It is entirely possible to act cute and innocent.
This is certainly very beautiful

However, if a person's regression and juvenility
Is because she is not allowed to be strong and independent
Not allowed to have their own will and thoughts
Not allowed to have ambition, a dark and selfish side
So you like this kind of juvenility and regression
Of course there are problems

So what I am objecting to is
Cute, simple and innocent
As a natural state that women should take for granted

If we don't distinguish a woman's cuteness
It's out of freedom
Or out of repression and trauma
Just the cuteness of the other person
Assuming that a woman should be like this
So
We may unintentionally restrict the other party.

We must at least allow
A person has the right to be unlovable

Actually, in the comment section of the previous video
One netizen summed it up very well:

He said: The aesthetic of white, thin and young is not simply about liking this kind of appearance.
But I like an immature
Always sunny and innocent inner state
Just because of this situation
It is easy to appear on women with fair skin and good figure
It has become an aesthetic label

This netizen also understood very well
Why did I mention the character Yuriko in Red Alert 3?

It's not because of how popular the game is.
But because the character of Yuriko reflects
A thin and white appearance
But the girl is filled with trauma and desire for revenge.
It is actually very difficult to project cute emotions.

This just proves
The point we mentioned at the beginning of the last video
That is the human aesthetic of appearance.
It's not about appreciating each other's isolated physical characteristics
Rather, these characteristics serve as signs and symbols
The spiritual meaning behind it

These meanings
Usually by society,
The result of repeated encoding of cultural and personal experiences
It is not just the so-called biological instinct
Or what evolutionary psychology can explain

For example, during the Mao era
Dark skin and a strong body are considered the symbols of the working people.
And fair, slender and graceful
They may be labeled as petty bourgeois.

These extremely microscopic and variable phenomena
It is difficult to use an eternal
So-called biological instinct to explain

Overall
I think the argument in the previous video is rigorous.
Some netizens lack the patience to understand
Eager to offer some mechanical rebuttal
Maybe I feel
I despise and discriminate against this kind of aesthetic

Actually, I didn't mean that.

We say discrimination
It is a phenomenon
Linked to a negative nature
Refusing to understand it deeply

I have always advocated from the perspective of universal human nature
To restore the psychological mechanism of this phenomenon

This is exactly the topic we are going to discuss in this video.
That's why many men's sexual preferences
fixed on juvenile features
But it is impossible to have an independent, rich and confident
Challenging female admiration

When we say this
In fact, there is a core assumption hidden
That is a man can truly appreciate,
Fall in love with an independent,
Mature, challenging women
The matter itself
It is precisely this man's own mental maturity,
A sign of complete personality

This can stimulate male vitality
Lead him to further live out his own
The mysterious and independent female archetype
In Jungian psychology, it is called "anima".

In Latin
Anima means "soul"

She is not the mother who provides unconditional nourishment
Nor is she the wife who completely conforms to social norms.
And first of all a man's inner soul mate
It is the self that has not yet been lived out.
Full of creativity and vitality
and the projection of the irrational passion

She often appears as a specific and charming female image.
Her traits are unpredictable, unconventional, and spiritual.

She is the goddess who leads people to the unknown
Also a seducer

The purpose of the anima
It is to take a person out of the familiar world of parents
Attracted to a new world that is unfamiliar to you
It will stimulate a person's desire to take risks and expand

party
You may suddenly want to break the habitual stable life
Desire to pursue self

This is an investment
No one can guarantee
Your individualization process will definitely lead to success

therefore
Anima often brings danger, anxiety and worry
She is by no means a person who can be controlled.
Anxin role

In Western culture
Anima Prototype
Often embodied as goddess characters in various myths or literature
For example, Aphrodite, Freya, etc.

Freya is the goddess of love in Norse mythology.
God of War and God of Magic

Wagner's first work in the Ring of the Nibelung tetralogy
In Das Rheingold
It tells the story of Wotan building a palace
Promise to hand Freya over to the giants

Yet the gods felt the loss of Freya
They will lose the golden apple that keeps them young forever.

As long as there is no Freya
The gods will age and lose their vitality

Freya can be regarded as the symbol of the Anima of the gods.
She is a person who brings life,
goddess of vitality and creativity

Goddess worship
Has long roots in Western culture

In Chinese culture
Actually, there is no such goddess.

Some people might say
Nuwa, Bai Suzhen, the Seven Fairies, Chang'e,
Mazu of Fujian
Can't these be regarded as goddesses in a broad sense?

However, when we look at the spiritual core of these goddesses
You will find
They are fundamentally different from these goddesses in the West

Goddesses in Chinese culture
More like a variation of the Great Mother or the Ideal Wife
Not the kind that can arouse lust
Anima goddess who leads individual adventures

Western Goddess
Possesses a certain divine wisdom and power
And this divinity is internal, original
Their power is not dependent on any man.
Whether it's their husbands or their lovers
They can't be fully defined.

The goddess in Chinese culture
Almost always by a male
or defined by the relationship of the patriarchal order

For example, the Seven Fairies and Bai Suzhen
She is the epitome of a virtuous wife.
Although they have divinity
But their personality drive
Just to start a family with a mortal man
Live a normal life with men farming and women weaving

Put aside the identity of a good wife
They have no other selves.

As for Nuwa or Mazu, they are the perfect examples of mother goddesses.
They are compassionate and loving
But basically asexual

They are the great mothers who give birth and bless the continuation of the tribe.
Rather than individual soul mates

Love represented by the Chinese goddess
Loyalty, dedication and sacrifice
Their love is to consolidate or integrate into the family order
It is also completely in line with social ethics

The kind of love possessed by the Western Anima goddess
It doesn't look noble and compassionate
They themselves are the subjects of desire
Will be jealous and cheat
Sometimes for my own desires
And cast a curse

Their love is unpredictable
It's not controllable either
But it gives people a unique charm

This will and danger
It is also a way to lure people out of their safe zone.
The drive towards the unknown

That's the end of the myth
Let's get back to reality

Of course, real people are not gods.
But in one's spirit
It is indeed possible to possess a certain divinity,
Fascinating depth

When a man deep down
With a desire for the anima archetype
When looking for a woman who can carry this desire
This is undoubtedly a projection

But what I want to say is
Of all the fantasies that are projected onto your partner
This projection of the anima is perhaps the highest level
It is also the one with the greatest growth potential.

Things to note here
The goddess prototype should not be
Confusion with the inner mother figure

In China
Many people think of this kind of goddess image
It is always easy to evoke the feeling of mother

This is of course related to the lack of a goddess of wisdom in Chinese culture.
and the overdeveloped Oedipus complex

The inner mother provides "nourishment" and "security"
Anima is the incarnation of the goddess of wisdom Sophia.
Provides inspiration and direction

Ideal mother makes a person feel comfortable
But Anima may not

Therefore, the projection of the anima
It is fundamentally different from the projection of the mother archetype

When a man projects his partner into a mother
Or a cute sister
He actually hopes that the other person will never change
Always play the simple, stable,
A role that meets your needs

Once she is real
Showing a complexity that doesn't match your fantasy,
Independence or even aggression
This projection will fail immediately.
The parties involved will feel disappointed or even angry

But the Anima's projection is just the opposite

Because the archetype of Anima itself contains mystery,
Unpredictability and richness
so
When a man puts anima
When projected onto a real woman
He subconsciously expected
It's not a static answer
It's an unfolding puzzle.

The more he truly reveals what he does not understand,
Even the dangerous part
Instead, it arouses my curiosity and thinking.

Of course, we want to emphasize here that
It's not all unpredictable and dangerous
Both mean wisdom and richness

The danger and unpredictability of some people
Of pathological nature
Displays disruptive and highly volatile behavior

This unpredictability
Easily attracts those with a savior complex
Or those subconscious
Someone who wants to repeat their childhood trauma

Such relationships also generate strong, intense passions
But this passion is not the passion of life

As we said in our video on trauma obsession
People who are obsessed with trauma
Feeling strong emotions and attraction towards certain types of people
But this attraction
Often not based on developed language communication
Resonate with some emotion

It's an unconscious
Patterns that are difficult to express and understand in words

certainly
Everyone has some trauma to some extent.
But if trauma becomes a source of attraction
Then this passion and obsession
It is unlikely to promote the mutual growth of both parties

The challenges brought by the Anima goddess
It's not from trauma.
But the freedom and richness of the spirit

She will have some fixed perceptions of you.
Your personality mask constitutes subversion and challenge
Makes you long for freedom from your father's world and order
Break free
Start an adventure

Of course this adventure
It may lead to a new predicament.

The original parties would feel
My life to some extent
Belongs to parents, company
or other social roles
To survive
He developed various personas.

Now the parties
But can experience a strong sense of self
Be aware of yourself
You can call upon all your life energy

The Anima
The one who leads himself
Start living out your spark

Therefore, love based on the anima archetype
Will not be broken by the other party's complexity
Instead, it will inspire you to be more
The desire to explore, to understand, to get closer

It started from the beginning
For an equal and mutually respectful
Love that grows together leaves room
It is not about possession and control
But respect and curiosity

This may be what we can expect
The best starting point of love

Of course, even with such a good starting point
There is no authority
To ensure that this close relationship can continue

Love needs to be maintained, updated and generated from time to time
It needs to be based on reality and secular soil
Trying to survive

However, even that relationship ignited by Anima
Eventually it collapsed due to various reasons.
but
The process of individuation that he promotes deep within himself
But it is irreversible

The parties actually
No longer able to feel at ease
Back to the persona and childhood shackles
A false and stable world

His ego has been completely ignited.
This is better than those that seem safe and stable
But those who have never been set on fire in their lives are much luckier.

People who are too deeply bound by their father or mother
It is often difficult to generate the need for anima

Their core needs are still the pursuit of integration and symbiosis
Or for any loss of control or separation
Feeling intense pain

About this topic
We'll discuss this later.

That’s all for today’s video.

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I will post this video
Put it in the list of "Psychology and Education"
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