--- author: TED date: '2026-11-02' guest: '' layout: post.njk source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gswo90kocHU speaker: TED tags: - parenting - third-space - loneliness - social-isolation - community title: 如何减轻育儿孤独感：打造容纳孩子的多代共享第三空间 summary: 演讲者结合自身育儿经历与数据，探讨为人父母后普遍面临的社交隔离与孤独感。她分享了童年多代共处大院的体验，并在温哥华发起将酒吧临时改造成适合亲子的“Witching Hour”活动，呼吁城市规划者、商家与大众共同打造多代共享的社交第三空间。 insight: '' draft: true series: '' category: family-relations area: life-family project: [] people: [] companies_orgs: - Action for Children - Harvard University - Please! Beverage Co products_models: [] media_books: [] status: evergreen --- ### 育儿的孤独与社交隔离 我表姐贝丝（Beth）有个10岁的女儿叫伯迪（Birdie），她可能是世界上最有趣的孩子了。她练空手道、打理花园、还拍定格动画片。她完全就是个通才。我想大家都会同意。但尽管她显然是个极棒的伴侣，而且贝丝显然也非常疼爱她，贝丝在为人父母的过程中依然经历了相当严重的社交隔离。或者正如她自己所言：“我刚刚度过了人生中最孤独的十年。”
Original English My cousin Beth has a 10-year-old daughter named Birdie, and she might be the most interesting child alive. She does karate, she gardens, she makes stop-motion animation films. She's a Renaissance woman. I think we can all agree. But even though she is obviously amazing company, and while Beth is obviously pretty fond of her, Beth still had a pretty socially isolating experience as a parent. Or as she put it, "I've just had the loneliest decade of my life."
贝丝并不是独自承受这种孤独。英国儿童慈善机构 Action for Children 对2,000人进行的一项研究发现，**68%** 的父母在有了孩子后感到与朋友疏远了。68%。让我来给你们简单算笔账。细分一下，因为正如你们从眼镜看出来的那样，我基本上算是个理工科女性。这超过了一半，接近 75%。将近四分之三。这可真不少，确实很多。另外有 **40%** 的人觉得在做父母的过程中缺乏支持。英国的另一项研究发现，30岁以下的母亲中有一半经常或总是感到孤独。这太糟糕了。
Original English Beth isn't alone in her aloneness. A study by Action for Children of 2,000 people found that 68 percent of parents felt isolated from their friends after having kids. 68 percent. Let me do some quick math for you. Break it down, because I'm basically a woman in STEM, as you can tell from the glasses. That's more than half, almost 75 percent. Almost three-quarters. It's a lot, it's a lot. Another 40 percent felt unsupported in their parenthood. A different study in the UK found that half of mothers under 30 felt lonely often or always. That sucks.
不用说，四年前我自己怀孕时，对那种孤立感感到有些不安。没错，我是一个年轻妈妈（teen mom）。 （笑声） 这不仅是因为贝丝严重的警告，也不仅是那些统计数据。而是因为在我没有孩子的那些年里，我见过身边太多的朋友，一旦他们自己当了父母就彻底消失了。消失在育儿的黑洞里。这并不是说我们的友谊破裂是因为我嫉妒婴儿得到的关注，虽然显然有那么一点点原因。 （笑声） 问题在于，一旦别人有了孩子而你没有，你们就不再同步了。你们不能再像以往那样一起做同样的事情。你不能带宝宝去你惨遭滑铁卢的陶艺工作室。你不能带他们去上即兴表演课。你不能带他们出去和闺蜜们喝酒。如果你带了，你要么压力重重，担心自己毁了其他人的兴致；要么事后去逛 Reddit，发现有些人把餐馆里的小孩称作“裆下小鬼”（crotch goblins）。 （笑声） 这可真不鼓舞人心。即使在熬过了艰难的新生儿阶段之后，父母们也非常容易从他们平时的活动和环境中退缩。
Original English Needless to say, I was a little bit nervous about that isolation when I got pregnant myself four years ago. That's right, I'm a teen mom. (Laughter) It wasn't just Beth's dire warning, it wasn't just the statistics. It was that I had seen so many of my friends, during [the] childless phase of my life, disappear once they became parents themselves. Disappear into a black hole of parenthood. It wasn't that our friendships fell apart because I was jealous of the attention the babies were getting, although, obviously, that's a small part of it. (Laughter) It was that once somebody has kids and you don't, you just fall out of sync. You can't do the same sort of things together that you always used to. You can't bring your baby along to the pottery studio where you're failing miserably. You can't take them along with you to your improv class. You can't bring them out for drinks with the gals. When you do, you're either stressed out that you’re ruining everyone else’s fun [or] you’re going on Reddit afterwards and learning that some people think of children at restaurants as crotch goblins. (Laughter) It's not encouraging. It's absolutely easy for parents to shrink away from their usual activities and environments, even after the tough newborn days are over.
失去这些友谊不仅带来不便，而且有害健康。一项长达80年的哈佛研究发现，衡量成功、长寿和幸福的最大指标不是财富，不是地位，也不是你有多少块腹肌，而是人际关系。不是你有多受欢迎，而是你的生活中有多少段亲密关系。有多少人关心你，跟进你的生活，投入到你的生活之中。谁在和你一起大笑、一起争吵，并且提醒你练出八块腹肌并不现实，史黛西（Stacey）。 （笑声） 这不仅是个人的问题，也是一个集体的问题。所以没错，不管你有孩子与否，这也是你的问题。面对现实吧。坏消息。因为做父母与孤独，这是一场影响我们所有人的流行病。亲密的关系，成年人之间的亲密关系，是维系这一切的社会粘合剂。它是关怀得以分担、信息得以传递、让我们所有人都不至于从缝隙中跌落的机制。因此，当我们悄悄地将父母推离社交场合或社交空间时，我们实际上正在破坏维系这一切的社会网络。这事关重大。好吗？好的。 （笑声）
Original English It’s not just inconvenient to lose those friendships -- it’s unhealthy. An 80-year Harvard study found that the biggest indicator of success, longevity, happiness, isn't wealth, it isn't status, it isn't how many abs you have, it is relationships. Not how popular you are, but how many close relationships you have in your life. How many people care about you, follow up with you, are invested in your life. Who's laughing with you and fighting with you and reminding you that an eight-pack is not realistic, Stacey. (Laughter) This isn't just a personal problem. It's a collective one. So that's right, whether you have kids or not, this is your issue, too. Deal with it. Bad news. Because parenthood and loneliness, it's an epidemic that affects us all. Close relationships, close adult relationships, are the social glue that holds all of this together. It's how care is shared, how information travels, how we all are prevented from falling through the cracks. So when we quietly push parents out of social situations or social spaces, we're actually damaging the social web that holds this all together. This is high stakes. OK? OK. (Laughter)
### 童年的第三空间记忆 不过我怀孕的时候，并没有去想那么宏大的图景。我主要在想，我可以喝多少杯咖啡而不会让我的孩子长出一对额外的胳膊？ （笑声） 然后当我不担心这个问题时，我又会想：天哪，我还能去做自己喜欢做的事情吗？谁在乎社会网络会不会分崩离析？我只是不想被贬低到只能去参加纯妈妈的活动。没错，我唱《公交车上的轮子》（The Wheels on the Bus）超级拿手，但我可不想整天唱这个。幸运的是，我足够固执，会去想：如果我不需要这样呢？
Original English So when I got pregnant, I wasn't thinking about that big picture though. I was mostly thinking, how many cups of coffee can I drink without giving my child an extra set of arms? (Laughter) And then when I wasn't worried about that, I was like, oh no, do I still get to go do the things that I love to do? Who cares about the crumbling web of society? I just don't want to be relegated to mom-only activities. Yes, I’m amazing at singing “[The] Wheels on the Bus,” but I don't want to do it all the time. Luckily, I was stubborn enough to wonder, what if I didn't have to?
毕竟根据我被抚养长大的方式，我认为做父母是一项社交事业。我在80年代长大，所以相当“放养”。我住在一个联排别墅区，那里有一个很大的公共后院和一个游乐场。所有的孩子到处乱跑，就像一群喝了高乐高果汁（Capri Sun）的野性小动物。 （笑声） 上面总会有一个大人从阳台上看着我们，但更多的时候，家长们就在院子里陪着我们，互相调玛格丽特酒，闲聊八卦，轮流大声呵斥我们不要在花坛里玩恐龙战队（Power Rangers）。那是一种公共体验。
Original English After all, the way I'd been raised, I viewed parenthood as a social endeavor. I grew up in the '80s, so pretty free-range. I lived in a townhouse complex where we had a big communal backyard, a playground. All the kids roamed around, a feral pack of Capri Sun-fueled little animals. (Laughter) There was always an adult watching us from one of the balconies up top, but more often than not, the parents were down there in the yard with us, making margaritas for each other, sharing gossip, taking turns yelling at us to stop playing Power Rangers in the garden bed. A communal experience.
那个院子是一个重要的**第三空间**。第三空间是社会学家对既不是家也不是工作场所的聚集地的称呼。在我们的第三空间院子里，我们体验了跨代的乐趣。父母们可以负责任地享受作为父母的乐趣——喝适量的玛格丽特酒，同时拥抱成年的乐趣：一杯冷饮、一个不合时宜的玩笑、同病相怜与社群归属感。你可以说我异想天开，但我认为那是可能的。我认为依然有可能拥有那样的社群，拥有友谊，当一个父母，而且不抛弃我进入人生这个阶段之前结识的朋友。我不想度过人生中最孤独的十年。我不想在孩子的活动和家长的活动之间做出抉择。
Original English That courtyard was an important third space. A third space is what sociologists call that gathering place that isn't home and isn't work. In our third-space courtyard, we experienced multigenerational fun. Parents could enjoy being parents, responsibly -- [a] responsible amount of margaritas, while simultaneously embracing the joys of adulthood. A cold drink, an inappropriate joke, commiseration and community. And call me delusional, but I thought that was possible. I thought it was still possible to have that community, to have friendship, to be a parent, and not abandon the friends I had before I entered that stage in my life. I didn't want the loneliest decade of my life. I didn't want to have to choose between my kid activities and my parent activities.
### 带娃融入成人社交的碰撞与萌芽 然而在城市里，这很棘手。并不总是有一个大大的公共院子等着你，也没有一个安全的死胡同供大家聚集。生活在温哥华，我意识到我必须自觉去创造这种体验。所以快速倒叙——穿越时光——回到四年前。我的女儿出生了，她的名字叫可可（Coco）。等会儿可能会提到这个名字。 我和可可在一起，我们不仅去参加妈妈和宝宝的合唱班，虽然我去的时候表现非常出色。我还带着她去参加我所有的成人社交活动，不管她受不受欢迎。我带她去很酷的红酒店。我带她去参加益智问答之夜（trivia nights）。我带她去看职业摔跤表演。她戴着防噪耳机，这很负责任。 （笑声） 我就是拒绝被边缘化。她是我所有场合的随行搭档。
Original English In cities, though, that's tricky. There isn't always that big communal courtyard waiting for you, or a safe cul-de-sac for everyone to gather in. Living here in Vancouver, I realized I'd have to be intentional about creating that experience myself. So flashing back -- time travel -- to four years ago. [My] daughter is born, her name is Coco. That'll probably come up later. I’m with Coco, [adn] we’re not just going to the mom-and-me sing-along classes, although I'm crushing it when I do. I'm bringing her along to all my adult social activities, whether she is welcome or not. I'm taking her to the cool wine bar. I'm taking her to trivia nights. I'm bringing her to a pro wrestling show. She's got headphones, it's responsible. (Laughter) I just refused to be left out. She is my plus-one to everything.
当她还便于携带、绑在我身上的时候，这招挺管用的。但当她开始爬，然后走，然后跑，然后攀爬时，事情就变得尴尬了。这就是为什么我发现自己身处一家体育酒吧，试图和一个朋友喝一杯欢乐时光饮料。我发现自己不得不从 IPA 啤酒和八卦闲聊（两者都非常多汁/精彩）中冲出去—— （笑声） 去确保可可没有从吧台凳上摔下来，确保她没有从别的桌子上偷薯条，或者头撞在桌角上，或者试图在吧台后面上个班。 （笑声） 我竭尽全力想把当父母的自己塞回我已经抛在身后的成人身份中。但我大部分的欢乐时光都在向调酒师道歉，因为我那18个月大的孩子试图去开启酒桶水龙头。 （笑声）
Original English And that works pretty well when she's portable and strapped to me. But when she starts to crawl and then walk and then run and then climb, things get a little more awkward. Which is how I find myself at a sports bar, trying to have a happy-hour drink with a friend. I find myself sprinting away from the IPA and the gossip, both juicy -- (Laughter) to make sure Coco isn't falling off a bar stool, to make sure she's not stealing French fries from another table, or bonking her head on a corner, or trying to work a shift behind the bar. (Laughter) I’m trying so hard to squeeze my parent self into the adult identity that I've left behind. But I spend most of happy hour apologizing to the bartender that my 18-month-old has tried to tap her keg. (Laughter)
然而，正是在第五次救援行动中，我意识到我想带孩子来这里并没有不妥。真正需要发生的是：只需要有一家为婴儿设计的酒吧。 （笑声） 当然，就是这样。在世界其他地方，这并不是什么出格的想法。如果你去过英国，你可能见过孩子们在当地酒馆里跑来跑去。在澳大利亚，任何值得一去的酷餐厅或啤酒厂都有很棒的操场供孩子们玩耍，麦当劳游乐区那种风格。我非常羡慕那些去过西班牙的朋友，他们给我发照片，展示在游乐场内的浓缩咖啡吧优雅地喝着意式浓缩。我们为什么就不能有这个呢？ 这里稍微插一句：显然你不需要喝酒也能玩得开心。 （笑声） 而且如果你在照看孩子，你在喝酒时显然应该负责任。诸如此类的话。 （笑声） 我想说的重点是：多代共享的社交空间非常重要。它们更有活力—— 哦，我们得到了点掌声，太棒了。它们很重要。 （掌声） 它们更有活力，更具人情味，更有生机。当我们按年龄隔离我们的社交活动时，当我们回避那些小捣蛋鬼时， （笑声） 我们所有人都会变得更孤独，无论你是不是父母。难道你不想念你的父母朋友们吗？难道你不想让他们也出来聚聚吗？
Original English It's on the fifth rescue mission, though, that I realize I'm not inappropriate for trying to bring my child here. What really needs to happen is there just needs to be a bar designed for babies. (Laughter) That's it, of course. In other parts of the world, this is not such a risqué idea. If you've been to the UK, you've probably seen kids running around underfoot at the local pub. In Australia, any cool restaurant or brewery worth its salt has an amazing playground for the kids to play in. McDonald’s PlayPlace-style. I've been so jealous of friends who have gone to Spain and sent me pictures of having a civilized espresso at the in-playground espresso bar. Why don't we have that? Just [a] time-out to say: obviously you don't need to drink to have a good time. (Laughter) And if you are watching a child, you should obviously be responsible with that drinking. Blah, blah, blah, blah. (Laughter) The important thing I'm trying to say is that multigenerational social spaces are important. They're more vibrant -- Oh, we got a little applause, let's go. They are important. (Applause) They're more vibrant, more human, more alive. When we age-segregate our social activities, when we shun the crotch goblins, (Laughter) we all get lonelier, whether you are a parent or not. Don't you miss your parent friends? Don't you want them to come out too?
### “Witching Hour”试验与落地 所以当我试图阻止可可玩花式调酒时，我的脑子在飞速运转。我想象着在温哥华开一家梦想中的酒吧，在那里我的孩子和我的成年朋友们可以在一个共享空间里共同度过美好时光。它的设计—— 是的。 （笑声） 信息图表。 （笑声） 它的设计带有圆角，没有很多能让你把手指伸进去的东西，没有摇摇晃晃的吧台高脚凳。或许还有某种——我不想用笼子这个词——但某种可以容纳阻隔的方式，安全门就是我们要找的词。有玩具，当然还有现接的精酿啤酒。最重要的是，默许孩子们肆意奔跑，这样大人们就可以把谈话聊完。也许它叫“Toddlerz”（末尾带Z）——我还在琢磨这个名字。 （笑声） 我是一名杂志编辑，不是餐厅老板。但我无法停止去想开一家亲子友好酒吧的点子。显然，目前开一家自己的实体店不在预算范围内，但我能做的是发一封电子邮件。于是我偶然发现了一个明亮通透的鸡尾酒品酒室。感觉全家人都会觉得有趣。那里有许多北欧风格的家具，非常圆润、柔软且低矮。挺不错的。所以我发了一封邮件，店主当天就回复我说：“我有一个两岁的孩子，这听起来太棒了。我们做吧。”非常棒，就像战壕里的战友。
Original English So as I'm trying to stop Coco from flair-bartending, my wheels are turning. I'm imagining a dream bar in Vancouver where my child and my adult friends can all have a good time together in a shared space. It's designed -- Yes. (Laughter) Infographic. (Laughter) It's designed with soft corners, not a lot of things to stick your fingers into, not tippy-toppy bar stools. [And] maybe some sort of -- I don’t want to use the word cage -- but some way to sort of contain, gates is the word we're looking for. Toys and, of course, craft beer on tap. Most importantly, implicit permission for the kids to run wild so the adults can finish the conversation. Maybe it’s called “Toddlerz” with a Z -- I’m still workshopping it. (Laughter) I'm a magazine editor, not a restaurateur. But I can't stop thinking about the idea of a kid-friendly bar. Obviously, opening up an establishment of my own is not in the budget right now, but what I can do is I can send an email. So I stumble across a cocktail-tasting room that is bright and airy. It feels fun for the whole family. There's a lot of like, Scandinavian-style furniture, so very like, rounded and soft and low. It's good. So I send an email and the owner gets back to me the same day to say, "I have a two-year-old and this sounds amazing. Let's do it." So it was nice, fellow soldier in the trenches.
非正式民调显示“Toddlerz”这个名字反响不佳，所以我转而想到把它叫做“Witching Hour”（魔幻时刻）。这是父母们常用来形容从午睡到晚餐之间那段充满情绪波动的时间，那段时间孩子们——再次用一个科学术语来说——简直像疯子一样。情绪化、不可理喻、跌跌撞撞。你在苦苦寻找可以做的事情。魔幻时刻。 于是我把活动命名为这个，门票在一天内就售罄了。重点是，这些不仅是我朋友出于同情买的票。这些是想来和我以及我的宝宝一起喝一杯的陌生人，这意味着—— （笑声） 这意味着我必须全力以赴把这变成现实了。哎呀。 于是我从 Facebook Marketplace 买了一个滑梯，打包了一袋玩具，前往那家鸡尾酒吧，把它改造成一个简易的游乐场。一旦我把调酒师们用安全门隔好——他们被圈在里面了，出不来——我就喝了一杯，坐下来等待60个小小的新朋友到来。
Original English "Toddlerz" is not polling well as a name informally, so I move on to the idea of calling it "Witching Hour." It's a phrase that parents often use to describe that emotional time between, you know, nap time and dinner, where the children are -- again, to use a scientific term -- maniacs. Emotional, irrational, wobbly. You are looking for something to do. Witching hour. So I call the event that, and I sell out in a day. And the thing is, these are not just pity buys for my friends. These are strangers who want to come have a drink with me and my baby, which means -- (Laughter) Which means I'm committed to making this a reality. Whoops. So I go buy a slide off Facebook Marketplace, I pack up a bag of toys, I head to the cocktail lounge to transform it into a poor man's playground. And once I've trapped the bartenders sort of gate-gate, they're in there, they're stuck, I have a drink, and I sit back and wait for 60 tiny new friends to arrive.
艾莉森（Alison）是第一个进门的人，一个我之前从未见过的人，她带着两个孩子来了。而且她是坐公交车来的。或者我应该说一辆接一辆的公交车。她从郊区倒了三趟公交车，带着两个孩子坐了90分钟的公共交通。这绝非易事。在许多人看来就是一场噩梦。 （笑声） 但她认为这趟路程对于一个极其愚蠢而简单的想法来说是值得的：让孩子们也一起来。她认为为了那段不可思议的旅程是值得的，因为正如她所说，她想和“懂这种处境”的人在一起。那天房间里满是这样的人。 我可以告诉你，那场面真是壮观。孩子们显然在享受一个外出的夜晚。小鱼饼干满天飞。 （笑声） 就像任何一场盛大的派对一样，至少有一个人脱掉了上衣。 （笑声） 是孩子们啦，孩子们。但没有人惊慌失措，大家都非常放松。那真是一种美妙、悠闲的氛围。这不仅是因为所有父母手里都拿着一杯帕洛玛（Paloma）鸡尾酒。而是因为我们赋予了每个人做自己的许可。孩子们可以自由自在地做孩子，父母也可以自由自在地做普通人。
Original English Alison is the first person through the door, somebody I hadn't met before, and she has arrived with two children in tow. And she's taken the bus. Or should I say buses. She took three buses from the suburbs, a 90-minute transit trip with two kids. That is no small feat. Many people's idea of a nightmare. (Laughter) But she thought the trip was worth it for what is really a stupid, simple idea: Let the kids come, too. She thinks that's worth that incredible journey because she wants to be around, as she says, people who get it. And the room is full of them that day. It's a scene, I will tell you. The kids are enjoying a night out, that's for sure. Fishy crackers are flying. (Laughter) Like any good party, at least one person takes their shirt off. (Laughter) The children, the children. But no one's panicked, everyone's relaxed. It is such a wonderful, laid-back atmosphere. And not just because all the parents have a Paloma in their hands. It's because we've given everyone permission to be themselves. The kids are free to be kids and the parents are free to be people.
艾莉森和她的小家伙们并不是唯一玩得开心的人。我玩得非常痛快。我不仅在这个美妙的环境中与我的新朋友们交流互动，而且我那些没有孩子、住在附近的朋友们也顺便进来和我喝一杯。我们都玩得很开心，我只有在自己想唱的时候才唱《公交车上的轮子》。 与那些有了孩子就从社交生活中消失的朋友不同，我觉得自己比以往任何时候都更加融入社区。我感觉找回了原来的自己，那个正常的自己。我的生活感觉变得更加宽广，而不是缩小了。在这样一个房间里，你根本无法想象自己会度过人生中最孤独的十年。 我们在 Please! Beverage Co 以及全城各地的其他酒吧陆续举办了 **30 多次** Witching Hour。我们把活动在不同社区之间轮流举办，每到一处都收获了溢美之词。我无法用语言来形容我仅仅因为把一袋得宝（DUPLO）乐高积木带到酒吧而受到了多少赞赏。 （笑声） 我成了一个英雄。我成了一个神。 （笑声） 这几乎令人尴尬，因为我心想：真的吗？我只是发了一封邮件，带了一个包而已。但我不是来这里吹嘘的。我不是来吹嘘的，不管所有这些照片暗示了什么。
Original English Alison and her little ones aren't the only ones who have a good time. I'm having a ball. Not only am I mixing and mingling in this wonderful environment with my new friends, but I also have childless friends in the neighborhood who pop in to join me for a drink. We're all having a great time, I’m only singing “[The] Wheels on the Bus” if I want to. And unlike my friends who have disappeared from social life once they had a kid, I feel more entrenched in the community than ever. I feel like my old self, my normal self. My life feels bigger, not smaller. And in a room like this, it's impossible to imagine having the loneliest decade of your life. We go on to run Witching Hour more than 30 times at Please! Beverage Co, but also other bars throughout the city. We kind of move it around neighborhood to neighborhood with effusive praise everywhere I go. I cannot stress enough how much patting on the back I am getting for literally just bringing a bag of DUPLO to the bar. (Laughter) I am a hero. I am a god. (Laughter) It's almost embarrassing because I'm just like, really? I just sent an email, brought a bag. But I'm not here to brag. I'm not here to brag. Despite what all these pictures may suggest.
### 让孩子也参与进来：重塑多代社交空间 我是来告诉大家，在我们这座城市里，人们对多代共享的第三空间有着极大的渴望和热情。人们渴望有这样的空间，让孩子和成年人可以建立联系，并在彼此陪伴中做真实的自己。 在城市里，有餐馆、酒馆、咖啡馆、艺术工坊。你在哪里度过你的成年人社交生活？其中很多地方对于年幼孩子的父母来说根本无法真正进入。造访这些空间的机会消失了，因为无论从隐性还是显性层面，它们都不总是为家庭而建的。你可以像我一样，硬把自己塞进去，把你的宝宝带到体育馆，在洗手间的地板上给她换尿布，给体育迷们带来无尽的欢乐。 （笑声） 但更多时候，当你带着一个小家伙时，在成人空间里周旋的前景令人精疲力竭。物理空间并不总是包容友好的；行为规范的压力也让人心力交瘁。如果你没有托育资源来维持平时的社交节奏，呆在家里绝对更省事。或者你把所有的社交时间都花在青少年棒球赛（T-ball）和空手道俱乐部的场边。 为人父母的孤独显然只是更大范围内孤独流行病的一小部分，我想我们大家都对这种流行病非常熟悉。但这完全是一个可以解决的问题。让孩子们也来吧。
Original English I am here to tell you there is a hunger and an enthusiasm for multigenerational third spaces in our city. People want spaces where kids and adults can connect and be themselves together. In cities, there are restaurants, pubs, cafes, art workshops. Where do you go that you have your adult social life happen? So many of those are just not really accessible to parents of young kids. [The] opportunity to visit those spaces vanishes because they're not always built for families, either implicitly or explicitly. You could be like me and just shoehorn yourself in there anyway, take your baby to the stadium and change her on the floor of the bathroom to the delight of sports fans. (Laughter) But more often than not, the prospect of navigating adult spaces is exhausting when you have a little one in tow. Physical spaces aren't always accommodating. Behavioral expectations can be draining to navigate. If you don't have the resources for childcare to keep up your usual social pace, it's absolutely easier to just stay home. Or you spend all your social hours on the sidelines of the T-ball game and the karate club. Parental loneliness is obviously just one small slice of a larger loneliness epidemic that I think we're all quite familiar with. But it's such a solvable one. Let the kids come, too.
所以，如果你不介意像我这样的年轻妈妈告诉你该怎么做，那我们就来看看务实的做法。 - **商家们**，一个月留出一个晚上，让它变得适合家庭。这有多难呢？ - **父母们**，给你们最喜欢的喝酒聚会场所发邮件，询问是否可以带上几十个你们的小家伙一起去。其他父母会来的。我保证艾莉森肯定会在那里。 （笑声） - **设计师和城市规划师们**，我们能否在城市中创造鼓励多代互动的空间？ - **至于其他所有人**，请记住，你们生活中的孩子们以及抚养他们的人、你们所爱的人，他们和你们一样，理应享受一个外出的夜晚，甚至喝上一杯。 我想要一家适合婴儿的酒吧，并不是因为蹒跚学步的孩子需要懂得品味精酿皮尔森啤酒。我想要它们，是因为我记得曾经有一个时代，孩子们就在身边，而且他们没有毁掉任何人的兴致。那是一个大人们在我们头顶上高谈阔论、彼此照应的时代；没有人会仅仅因为一个小生命的到来，就从彼此的社交生活中消失。 我长大的那个联排别墅区是我幸福童年不可或缺的一部分。那个第三空间在我们当年的美好时光中起到了关键作用。对我父母来说，那也是他们为人父母过程中极其重要的一部分，让育儿变成了一种非常快乐、充满群体温情与连接的体验，并且孕育了我父母至今仍保持的深厚友谊。 Witching Hour 所做的一切只是在发问：如果我们将那种感觉带回我们的社区会怎样？如果我们在育儿的道路上不再失去彼此，而是在餐桌旁为他们以及他们黏糊糊的小小随行搭档留出空间，结果会怎样？或者，我觉得，留出吧台旁的位置也行。 谢谢大家。 （欢呼与掌声）
Original English So if you don't mind a teen mom like me telling you what to do, let's get practical. Businesses, one night a month. Make it family-friendly. How hard is that? Parents, email your favorite watering hole and ask if you can bring a couple dozen of your little guys along with you. Other parents will come. I promise Alison will be there for sure. (Laughter) Designers and city planners, can we be making spaces within our city that invite multigenerational interaction? And everybody else, remember the kids in your life and the people who raise them, the people you love, deserve a night out, maybe even a drink, just as much as you do. I don't want a bar for babies because toddlers need to appreciate a well-made pilsner. I want them because I remember a time when kids were just around and they didn't ruin anyone's fun. A time when adults talked over our heads, kept an eye out for each other, didn’t vanish from each other’s social lives just because a baby came into the picture. The townhouse complex I grew up in was a really vital part of my happy childhood. That third space was pivotal in our good times. For my parents, it was a really important part of their parenthood, too, and made it a really joyful, communal, connected experience, one that fostered friendships that my parents still hold today. All Witching Hour does is ask, what if we brought that feeling back to our communities? What if, instead of losing people to parenthood, we made room for them and their sticky little plus-ones at the table? Or, I guess, the bar. Thank you. (Cheers and applause)