---
area: "society-thinking"
category: psychology
companies_orgs: []
date: '2025-03-09'
draft: true
guest: ''
insight: ''
layout: post.njk
media_books:
- Descartes' Error
- The Phenomenology of Spirit
- Critique of Practical Reason
- The Foundations of the Metaphysics of Morals
people:
- Anthony
- Mao Zedong
- Locke
- Kant
- Descartes
- Hegel
- Rogers
- Lenin
products_models: []
project: []
series: ''
source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idgvw0k2nnI
speaker: Anthony看世界
status: evergreen
summary: 本文探讨了在亲密关系，尤其是亲子关系中，如何处理政治观念差异的问题。作者通过两个典型案例，分析了父母试图纠正孩子政治思想时，为何常常适得其反，甚至加剧了自身的政治性抑郁。文章强调，在私人领域，通过理论辩论改变他人思想并非良策，真正的连接超越意识形态。它深入探讨了“内隐关系知识”和“社会生物反馈”机制，指出情感的自由表达和父母的积极反馈对孩子主体性、自我认知及理性能力培养的重要性，并批判了将亲密关系政治化的倾向，呼吁人们回归真诚的情感交流，而非用政治来逃避真实感受。
tags:
- anxiety
- dynamic
- emotional-intelligence
- political
- relationship
title: 亲密关系中的政治分歧：如何避免孩子被“洗脑”及政治性抑郁的化解
---
### 亲密关系中的政治分歧与“洗脑”焦虑

大家好，我是Anthony，欢迎来到我的频道。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Hello everyone, I am Anthony<br>Welcome to my channel</p>
</details>

今天我想和大家聊聊关于孩子被**洗脑**（Brainwashing: 通过系统性的灌输和控制，改变一个人的思想、信仰和行为）的焦虑。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">I want to talk to you today<br>Anxiety about children being brainwashed</p>
</details>

之所以想讨论这个问题，也是因为我最近遇到了一些家长，他们对自己的孩子被政治宣传和意识形态**洗脑**感到焦虑。

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<p class="english-text">The reason why I want to discuss this issue<br>It's also because I recently met a few parents<br>They are concerned about their children's<br>Anxiety about being brainwashed by political propaganda and ideology</p>
</details>

他们试图纠正孩子的思想，但结果却适得其反。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Trying to correct your child's thinking<br>But it backfired</p>
</details>

我认为这种现象非常普遍，也很有代表性。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">I think this phenomenon is very common.<br>Very representative</p>
</details>

它实际上可以抽象成这样一个问题：你如何看待亲密关系中的政治差异？

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<p class="english-text">It can actually be abstracted into such a question:<br>How do you view political differences in intimate relationships?</p>
</details>

或者说，亲密关系是否也应该被政治化？

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<p class="english-text">Or<br>Should intimate relationships also be politicized?</p>
</details>

所以，我们最近一直在讨论这个话题。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">so<br>We have been discussing this topic quite often recently.</p>
</details>

在视频开始之前，我先说一下，如果你有任何想和我讨论和咨询的话题，可以通过我的邮箱联系预约。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Before the video starts, let me say<br>If you have anything you want to discuss with me<br>And consulting topics<br>You can contact my email to make an appointment</p>
</details>

那么，我们回到今天的话题。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">So let's get back to our topic today.</p>
</details>

### 两个典型案例：纠正思想的困境

我遇到的第一位家长，是一位对官方历史、政治宣传和教育体系深感排斥和不信任的父亲。

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<p class="english-text">The first parent I met<br>It is an official history<br>Political propaganda and education system<br>A father with deep rejection and distrust</p>
</details>

他的儿子正在中国上小学，但他与儿子之间并没有太多的情感交流。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">His son is in primary school in China<br>However, he does not have much emotional communication with his son.</p>
</details>

更多时候，他习惯于板着脸指出孩子的问题。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">In more cases<br>He is used to pointing out children's problems with a serious face.</p>
</details>

有一天，儿子从学校回来，兴致勃勃地重复了一句**毛泽东**（Mao Zedong: 中华人民共和国的开国领袖）的名言，我忘了具体是哪句，也许是表达自信的意思。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">One day<br>My son is back from school<br>He enthusiastically repeated a famous quote by Mao Zedong<br>I forgot what it was.<br>Maybe it means to express self-confidence.</p>
</details>

父亲感到紧张，然后用严厉的语气告诉儿子一些**文化大革命**（Cultural Revolution: 1966年至1976年间在中国发生的一场政治运动）的黑暗历史。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">My father felt nervous<br>Then in a stern tone<br>I told my son some of the dark history of the Cultural Revolution</p>
</details>

这样的交流还有很多。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">There are many more exchanges like this.</p>
</details>

这位父亲认为自己只是不想让儿子被**洗脑**，是在启蒙和教育孩子。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">The father believes that he just doesn't want his son to be brainwashed<br>It is to enlighten children and educate them.</p>
</details>

但他发现儿子似乎并没有认真听。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">But he found that his son didn't seem to listen seriously.</p>
</details>

有一天，儿子从学校回来，突然开始批评他不爱国，批评他说了许多不正确的话。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">One day<br>My son is back from school<br>Suddenly began to criticize him for not being patriotic enough<br>Criticized him for saying a lot of things that are not correct.</p>
</details>

这让他更加唤起了**文化大革命**和**红卫兵**（Red Guards: 文化大革命期间学生组成的激进组织）的可怕记忆。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">This made him more aroused<br>Horrible memories of the Cultural Revolution and the Red Guards</p>
</details>

他感叹孩子的心智似乎被夺走了，变成了**小粉红**（Little Pink: 指中国年轻一代中，对中国政府和民族主义持强烈支持态度的群体）。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">He lamented that the child's mind seemed to be taken away<br>It turned into a little pink</p>
</details>

他觉得政府的意识形态宣传真是无孔不入，深入骨髓，因此感到更加恐惧和无力。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">The government's ideological propaganda is truly pervasive.<br>Deep into the bone marrow<br>Therefore, I feel more fearful and powerless</p>
</details>

另一位家长则相当有学识，他的家里摆满了西方哲学和政治学的经典著作。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Another parent is quite knowledgeable.<br>His home<br>Filled with classics of Western philosophy and political science</p>
</details>

他密切关注孩子的成长，特别注重孩子思维的独立性，经常强调言论自由和独立思考。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">He pays close attention to the growth of his children.<br>Pay special attention to the independence of children's thinking<br>Freedom of speech and independent thinking are often emphasized</p>
</details>

当他听到儿子表达出稍微认同官方或主流观点的言论时，例如有一次儿子谈到国家经济的进步，并对某些政府政策表示赞同。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">When he heard his son express<br>Speech that slightly agrees with official or mainstream views<br>For example, once my son talked about the progress of the country's economy.<br>Expressed approval for certain government policies</p>
</details>

这位父亲立刻拉着孩子坐下，开始了一场持续数小时的辩论。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">The father immediately pulled the child to sit down<br>A debate that lasted for hours began</p>
</details>

他引经据典，从**洛克**（John Locke: 英国哲学家，启蒙思想家）到**康德**（Immanuel Kant: 德国哲学家，批判哲学创始人）再到**哈耶克**（Friedrich Hayek: 奥地利经济学家和政治哲学家），指出孩子思想中的逻辑漏洞和伦理问题。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">His citations<br>From Locke to Kant to Hayek<br>Point out the logical holes in your child’s ideas<br>and ethical issues</p>
</details>

与其说这是一场辩论，不如说更像是一场单向的输出。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">It's a debate<br>In fact, it is more like a one-way output</p>
</details>

然而，这位父亲认为这种交流是平等的，因为他也欢迎孩子提出自己的意见进行辩论，他只是要求孩子对自己的意见负责。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">but<br>The father believes that this exchange is equal<br>because<br>He also welcomes children to put forward their own opinions for debate.<br>He just asks children to be responsible for their own opinions</p>
</details>

然而，孩子却逐渐学会了沉默，不再随意表达意见，变得更加紧张和内向，甚至压抑真实的感情。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">However<br>The child gradually learns to be silent<br>Stop expressing opinions casually<br>Becoming more nervous and introverted<br>Even suppressing real emotions</p>
</details>

当父亲决定让孩子脱离正规学校系统，去创新学校读书时，孩子因为不舍得离开朋友而犹豫。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">When a father decides to take his child out of the formal school system<br>When studying at an innovative school<br>The child hesitated because he couldn't bear to leave his friends.</p>
</details>

他对父亲说：“学校毕竟也没有那么糟糕。”

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">He said to his father: "School isn't that bad after all."</p>
</details>

但父亲坚定地告诉他：“你需要远离那些精神污染的地方。”

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">But his father told him firmly<br>"You need to stay away from places where there is mental pollution"</p>
</details>

孩子最终不情愿地接受了这个决定。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">The child finally accepted the decision reluctantly.</p>
</details>

### 政治性抑郁与人际关系的异化

以上两个案例其实非常典型，它们所反映的问题也可以延伸到一般的人际关系中。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">The above two cases are actually very typical.<br>The problem it reflects<br>This can also be extended to general interpersonal relationships.</p>
</details>

作为当事人的父母，他们主观上反对政治专制，倾向于自由、平等和独立的价值观。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">As the parent of the party<br>In fact, subjectively, I am against<br>Political despotism<br>Inclined to values ​​of freedom, equality and independence</p>
</details>

但在实践中，他们的行为却造成了相反的局面，甚至激起了孩子的逆反心理。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">But in practice<br>Their actions have created the opposite situation.<br>It even aroused the child's rebellious psychology</p>
</details>

这种反转加剧了他们的**政治性抑郁**（Political Depression: 因政治环境或事件产生的持续性沮丧、焦虑和无力感）和恐慌。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">This kind of reversal<br>This has aggravated their political depression and panic.</p>
</details>

这使得他们更加依赖政治话语的框架来理解人际关系。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Makes them more dependent on the framework of political discourse<br>To understand interpersonal relationships</p>
</details>

结果，他们生活在一种孤立和孤独的状态中，无法与身边的人建立真正的连接。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">result<br>They live in a state of isolation and loneliness<br>Unable to establish a real connection with the people around you</p>
</details>

虽然我们的频道经常从理论角度批判中国的意识形态，我也非常认同在公共领域进行辩论和发声的重要性。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Although our channel<br>Often from a theoretical perspective<br>Criticizing China's ideology<br>I agree very much<br>In the public domain<br>The importance of debate and speaking out</p>
</details>

然而，在私人领域，尤其是在与重要的朋友、孩子和伴侣的亲密关系中，我不认为通过理论辩论来劝说和改变他人的思想是一种好的做法。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">However, in the private sector<br>Especially important friends, children<br>In intimate relationships with partners<br>I don't think that through theoretical debate<br>To persuade and change other people's minds<br>It is a good practice</p>
</details>

这不是一种无奈的妥协，也不是因为我觉得说服别人太困难。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">This is not a helpless compromise.<br>Not because I find it too difficult to convince others</p>
</details>

而是我不认为人们在政治观点上的冲突是最根本的、不可逾越的。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">But I don't think<br>Conflicts between people in political views<br>It is the most fundamental<br>is insurmountable</p>
</details>

事实上，人与人之间存在一种相互连接的能力，它超越了意识形态的对立和差异。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">In fact, between people<br>There is an ability to connect with each other<br>It transcends ideological opposition and differences.</p>
</details>

### 情感与理性的深层连接：内隐关系知识与社会生物反馈

从神经科学的角度来看，每个人都拥有**社会生物反馈**（Social Biofeedback: 个体能够将自己的情绪与他人的情绪联系起来，并在他人情绪中看到自己的情绪的机制）机制。

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<p class="english-text">From a neuroscience perspective<br>That is, everyone has social biofeedback mechanism<br>That is social biofeedback</p>
</details>

这是一种将自己的情绪与他人的情绪连接起来，并在他人的情绪中看到自己情绪的能力。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Ability to connect your own emotions with the emotions of others<br>and see your own emotions in the emotions of others</p>
</details>

这种连接能力是个人主体性和自由意志的生物学基础。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">This linking capability<br>Personal subjectivity<br>and the biological basis of free will</p>
</details>

为什么这么说呢？

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<p class="english-text">Why do you say that?</p>
</details>

我相信大家还记得在2月16日的这期视频中，我们谈到了**内隐关系知识**（Implicit Relational Knowledge: 一个人与他人互动和建立关系的方式，往往不是通过语言和理论教育，而是通过人际关系中的非言语情境、情感互动来影响和塑造）。

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<p class="english-text">I believe everyone still remembers<br>In this video on February 16th,<br>Implicit relational knowledge<br>that is</p>
</details>

也就是说，一个人与他人互动和建立关系的方式，往往不是通过语言和理论教育，而是通过人际关系中的非言语情境、情感互动来影响和塑造的。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">The way a person interacts and relates to others<br>They are often not educated by language and theory.<br>Rather, it is through non-verbal situations in interpersonal relationships<br>Emotional interaction, to influence and shape</p>
</details>

所以我们说，在理想的情况下，一个孩子表达自己的情感时，能够从父母那里得到积极的反馈和回应。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">So we say<br>In an ideal situation<br>A child expressing his emotions<br>Can from parents<br>Get positive feedback and responses</p>
</details>

这样，孩子就能**内隐地**（Implicitly: 不自觉地、非言语地）知道：第一，表达自己的感受能够带来积极的结果；进而，他对自身产生了一种爱和信任，也就是原始的自信。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">So children can implicitly know<br>First<br>Expressing your feelings can lead to positive outcomes<br>then<br>He developed a kind of love and trust in himself<br>That is original self-confidence</p>
</details>

第二，孩子**内隐地**知道自己的情绪能够影响他人，这使得孩子萌生了对**能动性**（Agency: 个体采取行动并影响其环境的能力）和主体性的初步感受。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Second, children implicitly know<br>Your emotions can affect others<br>This makes children sprout<br>On agency and subjectivity<br>A preliminary feeling</p>
</details>

更重要的是，孩子只有通过父母对自己情绪的反馈和映照，才能识别和命名自己的情绪。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">More importantly,<br>Children only through their parents<br>Feedback and mirroring of one's own emotions<br>To be able to identify and name your own emotions</p>
</details>

这可以说是一个人理性能力和反思能力的熔炉。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">This can be said<br>It is a melting pot of a person's rationality and reflective ability.</p>
</details>

也就是说，所谓的理性其实是源于情感的。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">That is to say<br>So-called rationality actually originates from emotion.</p>
</details>

理性主义哲学传统认为，人的精神主体性是与生俱来的，情感和理性是两回事。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">The rationalist philosophical tradition<br>Human mental subjectivity is innate<br>Emotion and rationality are two different things.</p>
</details>

但正如**达马西奥**（Antonio Damasio: 葡萄牙裔美国神经科学家，著有《笛卡尔的错误》）在他的著作《**笛卡尔的错误**》（Descartes' Error: 探讨情感在理性决策中的作用的神经科学著作）中指出的，从神经科学的角度来看，情感和理性是密不可分的。

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<p class="english-text">But as<br>Damasio pointed out in his book Descartes' Error<br>From a neuroscience perspective<br>Emotion and rationality are inseparable</p>
</details>

一个人拥有强大的理性思考能力，我指的是真正的理性，而不是那种冰冷、回避情感的理性。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">A person has strong rational thinking ability<br>I mean the real rationality.<br>Rather than the kind of rationality that is cold and avoids emotions</p>
</details>

这种真正的理性，恰恰是一个人情感高度复杂和精微的表达。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">This true rationality<br>It's just one person's emotions<br>Highly complex and delicate expression</p>
</details>

当一个人的情感丰富、发达且精微，没有过多的压抑和回避时，他自然就具备了理性思考的能力。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">When a person's emotions are rich, developed and refined<br>When there is not too much repression and avoidance<br>He naturally has the ability to think rationally</p>
</details>

当情感受到遏制和压抑时，大脑的理性能力也会受到损害。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">When emotions are curtailed and suppressed<br>The brain's rational ability will also be damaged</p>
</details>

因此，我们通常说某人非常情绪化、不理性，其根本原因并不是他情感太多。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">therefore<br>We usually say that someone is very emotional and irrational.<br>The bottom line<br>It's not because he has too many emotions.</p>
</details>

而是他无法准确地识别、命名和调节自己的情绪，他的情绪过于原始，对现实做出失控或不正确的反应。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">He couldn't accurately identify<br>Naming and regulating your emotions<br>His emotions are too raw<br>Uncontrolled or incorrect response to reality</p>
</details>

因此，像人的主体性、自尊和思考能力这样的东西，并非与生俱来。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">therefore<br>Things like human subjectivity, self-esteem, and the ability to think<br>It's not innate.</p>
</details>

它们是在良好的人际关系中培养出来的。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">It is nurtured in good interpersonal relationships.</p>
</details>

正如**黑格尔**（Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel: 德国哲学家，德国古典哲学代表人物之一）在《**精神现象学**》（The Phenomenology of Spirit: 黑格尔的哲学著作，探讨意识从感性确定性到绝对知识的演变）中所说：“自我意识只有在另一个自我意识中才能得到满足。”

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">As Hegel said in The Phenomenology of Spirit<br>"Self-consciousness exists only in another self-consciousness<br>To get its satisfaction"</p>
</details>

“自我意识是自足的……它只作为被承认的实体而存在。”

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">"Self-consciousness is self-sufficient...<br>It exists only as a recognized entity.”</p>
</details>

这实际上与现代心理学高度一致。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">This is actually highly consistent with modern psychology.</p>
</details>

尽管**黑格尔**当然不知道**社会生物反馈**，但他确实指出了人的主体性依赖于他人的承认和互动，而不是完全自主和独立的，或者说只有在这种独立中才能实现真正的独立。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Although Hegel certainly didn't know<br>Social biofeedback<br>But he did point out<br>Human Subjectivity<br>It depends on the recognition and interaction of others<br>Rather than being completely autonomous and independent<br>Or only in this kind of independence<br>To achieve true independence</p>
</details>

一个人不能依靠**笛卡尔**（René Descartes: 法国哲学家、数学家、科学家，西方现代哲学奠基人）所说的内省，直接得出“我是一个独立的自我”的结论。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">One cannot rely on what Descartes said<br>Introspection<br>You can directly conclude that "I am an independent self"</p>
</details>

而是通过他人与自我的互动，逐渐建立起自我意识。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">It is through the interaction between others and oneself<br>Gradually building up self-awareness</p>
</details>

### 为什么父母的辩论往往失败？

说到这里，我们也能理解为什么父母试图纠正孩子的尝试往往会失败。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Speaking of which<br>We can also understand<br>Why do parents debate<br>Correct your child's attempts<br>Often fails</p>
</details>

即使他们主观上认为自己鼓励孩子独立思考。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Even if they subjectively believe<br>I encourage my children to think independently.</p>
</details>

这是因为他们首先没有连接到孩子的情绪，他们无法容纳孩子即兴的、碎片化的感受和意图。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">This is because<br>They don't connect to the child's emotions in the first place<br>They can't accommodate children's impromptu<br>Fragmented feelings and intentions</p>
</details>

他们未能帮助孩子整合情绪，反而将孩子所有的语言，首先进行抽象和规范化，作为哲学命题，然后驳斥这个命题。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Failure to help children integrate their emotions<br>Instead, all the children's language<br>First of all, we should give abstraction and regularization<br>As a philosophical proposition<br>Then refute this proposition</p>
</details>

这似乎是中立客观的理论探讨，但这种探讨本身完全是由父亲的权威驱动的。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">This seems to be a neutral and objective theoretical discussion.<br>But this discussion itself<br>It was completely driven by the father's authority.</p>
</details>

因为它建立在不平等的地位和非自愿的基础上，当然这与言论自由的精神是背道而驰的。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Because it is based on an unequal status.<br>and involuntary<br>Of course, this goes against the spirit of freedom of speech.</p>
</details>

即使父母口中说着**康德**、**伏尔泰**（Voltaire: 法国启蒙思想家、文学家、哲学家）、**洛克**、**罗尔斯**（John Rawls: 美国政治哲学家，正义理论的代表人物），然而父母言语本身却传递着一种无意识的焦虑和恐惧。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Even if parents say<br>Kant, Voltaire, Locke, Rawls</p>
</details>

而这种恐惧正是自由思考最大的障碍。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">However, the words of the parents themselves<br>It conveys an unconscious anxiety and fear<br>And this fear<br>This is the biggest obstacle to free thinking.</p>
</details>

他们因为自身的**政治性抑郁**和对被**洗脑**的恐惧，将孩子视为潜在的辩论者，或者容易被**洗脑**的人。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">They are depressed because of their own politics<br>and the fear of being brainwashed<br>View your child as a potential debater<br>Or someone who is easily brainwashed.</p>
</details>

所以他们觉得有必要启蒙孩子。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">So I felt the need to enlighten my children.</p>
</details>

但孩子却很困惑，为什么父母对这个问题如此恐惧？

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">But the child is confused<br>Why are parents so scared about this issue?</p>
</details>

于是，孩子要么觉得父母很荒谬，要么感到巨大的压力。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">then<br>Children either think their parents are ridiculous<br>Or feel great pressure</p>
</details>

所以他们倾向于发展出一种逆反心理。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">So they tend to develop a rebellious mentality</p>
</details>

例如，第一个孩子批评父亲不爱国，但孩子真的认同官方观点吗？

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">for example<br>The first child criticized his father for being unpatriotic<br>But do children really agree with the official point of view?</p>
</details>

实际上，这只是孩子引用学校或国家的权威来反抗自己的父亲。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">actually<br>This is just the child citing the school<br>or the authority of the state<br>To rebel against my own father</p>
</details>

当我们关注孩子语言背后的情绪时，你会发现他并不真正关心官方意识形态。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">When we pay attention to the emotions behind children's language<br>You will find<br>He doesn't really care about official ideology.</p>
</details>

他可能根本不理解这些，他只是想表达自己的攻击性和不满。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">He probably doesn't understand this at all.<br>He was just trying to express his aggression.<br>And dissatisfaction</p>
</details>

但这种反抗却被父亲赋予了政治性的解读。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">But this resistance<br>But my father gave a political interpretation</p>
</details>

父亲认为这是孩子被政府**洗脑**的迹象，结果增加了他们之间的敌意。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">My father thinks<br>This is a sign that children have been brainwashed by the government.<br>The result was an increase in hostility between them.</p>
</details>

这个孩子或许真的走上了父亲不希望他走的路。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">This child<br>perhaps<br>I really took the path that my father didn't want me to take.</p>
</details>

但这并不是因为政治宣传过于强大而**洗脑**了人。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">But this is not<br>Because political propaganda is too powerful to brainwash people</p>
</details>

许多人过分强调语言和观点对一个人心智的影响。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Many people place too much emphasis on language and opinions<br>Impact on a person's mind</p>
</details>

他们认为只要逻辑清晰地批判那些错误的思想，就能启蒙和教育他人。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">I think that as long as it is logical<br>Criticize those wrong ideas<br>You can enlighten others and educate others</p>
</details>

但这往往导致他们忽略了语言背后活生生的经验和无意识的互动模式。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">But this often leads to<br>They ignore the living experience behind the language<br>and unconscious interaction patterns</p>
</details>

正如我们在11月30日的这期视频中说的，任何信息都有巨大的挖掘和解释深度潜力。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">As we said in this video on November 30th<br>Any information has huge potential for mining and<br>Explainable Depth</p>
</details>

关键不在于信息本身是否深刻，而在于挖掘和连接的能力。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">The key is not whether the information itself is deep or not.<br>It's the ability to dig and connect</p>
</details>

也就是说，当事人能否处于一个自由思考和联想的阶段。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">That is, the parties<br>Can<br>In a stage of free thinking and association</p>
</details>

如果一个人长期生活在**罗杰斯**（Carl Rogers: 美国心理学家，人本主义心理学的主要代表人物之一）所说的真诚、透明的沟通中，即使他阅读**毛泽东**和**列宁**（Vladimir Lenin: 俄罗斯革命家、政治家，布尔什维克党创始人）的书籍。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">If a person<br>Living long in the sincerity that Rogers calls<br>In transparent communication<br>Even if he reads Mao Zedong and Lenin's books</p>
</details>

即使他真的相信他们所说的，但他也会自然而然地发现问题并否定他们。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Even if he really believed what they said.<br>But he will naturally find the problem<br>and deny them</p>
</details>

而如果一个人生活在压抑情感的教育环境中，即使你让这个孩子阅读**康德**的《**实践理性批判**》（Critique of Practical Reason: 康德的第二部批判性著作，探讨道德哲学）或《**道德形而上学的奠基**》（The Foundations of the Metaphysics of Morals: 康德的道德哲学著作，阐述了其伦理学核心概念）或其他启蒙思想。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">And if a person<br>In an educational environment that suppresses emotions<br>Even if you let this child read Kant's<br>Critique of Practical Reason<br>or The Foundations of the Metaphysics of Morals</p>
</details>

他仍然能读出一种专制、严苛和威权的色彩。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Or other enlightenment ideas<br>He can still read a kind of despotism<br>Harsh and authoritarian colors</p>
</details>

他可能会将自己内心中的权威型父母形象投射到**康德**身上。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">He could have put his heart in<br>Authoritarian parent image<br>Projecting onto Kant</p>
</details>

例如，**康德**著名的**范畴命令**（Categorical Imperative: 康德伦理学中的核心概念，指无条件的道德命令）：“你应该遵循，使你的行为准则能够成为普遍法则来行动。”

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">For example, Kant's famous<br>Categorical Imperative<br>You should follow<br>Make your code of conduct<br>It can become a universal law to act</p>
</details>

这句话听起来很严苛，似乎有一种明确的义务和强制感。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">This sentence seems very harsh.<br>There seems to be a clear sense of obligation and compulsion</p>
</details>

但这种强制是个体对自己法则的服从，是自律。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">But this kind of coercion is the individual's obedience to his own law<br>It is self-discipline</p>
</details>

然而，许多人的生活环境恰恰缺乏对自由的感性体验。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">However, the living environment of many people<br>It is precisely the lack of sensory experience of freedom</p>
</details>

因此，他对自律的理解，本质上仍然是外部的压迫和强制。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Therefore, his understanding of self-discipline<br>It is still essentially external oppression and coercion.</p>
</details>

他很容易将**康德**视为一个不断向自己说教的道德权威。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">He could easily have regarded Kant as<br>A moral authority who constantly preaches to himself</p>
</details>

这种语言背后**内隐关系知识**和理解框架，比表面的文字和政治观点更重要。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">The implicit relational knowledge underlying this language<br>and understanding framework<br>More than superficial words and political views<br>More important things</p>
</details>

事实上，如果一个人执着于某种保守、僵化的政治观点，我更倾向于认为这是创伤导致的精神功能受损。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">In fact, if a person is obsessed with a certain conservative<br>Rigid political views<br>I would be more inclined to think<br>This is due to the damage to mental function caused by trauma</p>
</details>

他并不是被某种意识形态**洗脑**了。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">He was not brainwashed by some ideology.</p>
</details>

### 回归真诚：超越政治的亲密连接

所以我们说，在亲子关系中，好的父母并非总是完美的、无所不能的、只会说正确话语的存在。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">So we say<br>In parent-child relationships<br>Good parents are not always perfect.<br>An almighty being who only says the right things</p>
</details>

而是虽然有瑕疵和不完美，但能够允许孩子否定自己，能够促成孩子与自己的顺利分离，并创造新的生命。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">But although there are flaws and imperfections<br>But we can allow children to deny themselves<br>Can facilitate the smooth separation of children and themselves<br>And create a new life</p>
</details>

这同样适用于其他亲密关系。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">The same applies to other intimate relationships.</p>
</details>

尽管许多人觉得讨论政治是危险和可怕的，但实际上有比谈论政治更可怕的事情。

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<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Although many people feel<br>Discussing politics is dangerous and scary<br>But there are actually things more terrifying than talking about politics</p>
</details>

那就是封闭人们真诚地展现自己的真实情感，包括脆弱、焦虑和抑郁。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">That is to close people<br>Be sincere and show your true emotions<br>Including fragility, anxiety and depression</p>
</details>

当我们习惯于用政治来回避自己的真实感受时，也容易将自己的精神状态进行政治性的解读。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">When we are used to using politics<br>To avoid your true feelings<br>It is also easy to change your mental state<br>Make a political interpretation</p>
</details>

所以我们感觉自己生活在一个更加政治化的世界中，感到更加孤独和痛苦。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">So we feel<br>Own<br>Living in a more politicized world<br>Feeling more lonely and miserable</p>
</details>

今天的视频就到这里。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">That's all for today's video</p>
</details>

最后，我再说一下，如果你有任何困惑或问题想与我交流，可以直接联系我的邮箱。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Finally, let me say<br>If you have any confusion or questions<br>Want to communicate with me<br>Just contact my email directly</p>
</details>

例如，你想和我讨论一篇文章、某段文字、某个视频、某个社会现象，或者你的日记，你可以提前将相关文字发给我，我会在正式交流前阅读。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">for example<br>You want to discuss an article with me<br>A certain paragraph, a certain video, a certain social phenomenon<br>Or your diary<br>You can send me the relevant text in advance.<br>I will read it before the formal communication</p>
</details>

或者你想与我讨论你的生活经验、困惑和情感，都是可以的。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Or you want to discuss your life experience with me<br>Confusion and emotion<br>All are possible</p>
</details>

如果你担心隐私和安全，以及关于支付和沟通方式的任何问题，也请及时告诉我。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">If you are concerned about privacy and security<br>Any questions about payment and communication methods<br>Please also tell me in time</p>
</details>

如果你无法支付或加入会员，也请联系我，我将提供其他方式。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">If you are unable to pay or join the membership<br>Please contact me too<br>I will provide other ways</p>
</details>

详情请参考这张图片。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Please refer to this picture for details</p>
</details>

我将把这个视频放到“心理学与教育”的列表中。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">I will post this video<br>Put it in the list of "Psychology and Education"</p>
</details>

也推荐大家查看我这个列表中的其他视频。

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Also recommend to everyone<br>Check out my other videos in this list</p>
</details>

感谢观看，再见！

<details>
<summary>View/Hide Original English</summary>
<p class="english-text">Thank you for watching, goodbye!</p>
</details>