Wirecutter 节日过夜留宿待客指南：从前期沟通到细节体验

Are they a blackout sleeper? I don't mean do they black out to go to sleep. I mean what kind of light do they require? Cuz that is a very specific thing with some folks who really need blackout. And do they have allergies, food sensitivities? How do they take their coffee? What time do they like to get up?

I'm Kyra Blackwell and you're listening to the Wire Cutter Show.

Before we dive into today's episode, a quick reminder. If you sign up now for the New York Times app, you can access all of our journalism there completely free for your very first month. So, go check that out. I don't know where the year went, but somehow the holidays are already quickly approaching and people are making their travel plans. Some are mentally preparing to be hosts. Look, hosting is already a daunting task no matter what time of the year it is. But during the holidays, it can feel so much more overwhelming and intense and high stakes.

That's why we're bringing in an expert to help us navigate these very, very trying times. After the break, I'll be on with Ivy Lrod. She's a wire cutter writer who covers home styling and design. Ivy regularly hosts family and guests in her rental garden apartment in New York City. While I rarely host in my own apartment here in the city because it's tiny, I actually used to co-own and operate an Airbnb property for 2 years. So, I've got some insight on what it takes to be a stellar host overnight guest. And Ivy certainly has got it down. She's going to tell us all the things we should be thinking about as we prepare to host this holiday season.

Plus, look out for our Friday episode this week where we're going to be digging into our best advice for temporary beds and bedding when it comes to hosting over the holidays. I'll be right back with Ivy after the break. See you in a sec.

Welcome back. With us now is Ivy Elrod, a writer here at Wire Cutter who covers home decor and interior design. We've had her on the show before to talk about shopping for secondhand furniture. And today we're going to be hearing her best tips for being an amazing holiday host. So Ivy, welcome to the show. Thanks. Always a pleasure. I love having you on. Today we wanted to talk to you about hosting guests because you have a lot of valuable personal experience doing this and professional experience. You actually own and operate a midterm rental property in your garden apartment. Is that right? That's right. We live in a house that has a garden level space where we created a place for our friends and our family to come from out of town and stay with us. And we are also able to rent it out for month, two-month uh short-term, midterm rentals really um as a little studio apartment because it has its own entrance and backyard access. And we actually have a unique opportunity to see hosting through sort of a dual lens and consider how we can frame our guests who are family and people we love with sort of almost a professionalism.

Yeah. consideration and it has actually helped a lot and vice versa you don't have to invoice your family but you can for me it started to shift what I was thinking about once people were actually giving us money to stay there how I was preparing things and all that jazz

the money really does help incentivize you're like oh this is good behavior and this is not so good behavior

yeah I mean we're not even on platforms it's like all entirely word of mouth and so it's not a review per se but my personal review it really means a lot to me that people in our spaces always are feeling good. I really believe that energetically influences everybody.

So given that, what do you think people should be thinking about differently when they're preparing to have friends or family stay over with them over the holidays?

Well, different from what I think it depends. I guess it's like, you know, I have friends who want to crash cuz they're just coming to visit the city for a weekend and I'm like, whatever, stay on the couch and I'm not really doing anything for you versus like I feel like the holidays adds a different kind of pressure. You might also be hosting the dinner that night for Thanksgiving or Christmas or you want to impress maybe your in-laws. It's like kind of a different vibe. So, how do you approach that context differently? 100%. I think the holidays have just a sparkle and no matter what you're celebrating there is a joy in being together and for me a lot of this has to do with reducing the pain points as it were from a business standpoint but you know how a space feels changes how people behave so I start to think about what through their eyes

and you may call that codependent I just call it

thoughtful you know discerning I'm an empath, you know, and I just try and get into the mind of whomever is coming, specifically who those people are and what I know about them and where I can ease any discomfort. Traveling can be stressful. It's exhausting. Just what it feels like to walk into a space that's a reprieve, you know?

I love that. Let's start at step one, the very beginning. Before your guests even arrive, what are the things that you do or you think about that make the biggest difference in how comfortable your guests are going to feel as soon as they walk into your home? It kind of boils down to two aspects. Planning and communication. I try and frontload as much of this work as I can and make things really accessible and available at the get. So, having a bounty of toilet paper, you know, towels, all of these little elements, which I can get more granular with later, but

I don't want my guests to feel like they have to keep asking me for things because a lot of people just won't do it and they'll sort of just be nervous or uncomfortable and then I'm uncomfortable.

So, and also as a guest sometimes I don't want to bother people. So it is very powerful to have all of these questions addressed beforehand. And so I think the way to really customize that is to just sort of mind them for information that will help. Are they a blackout sleeper? I I don't mean do they black out to go to sleep. I mean what kind of light do they require cuz that is a very specific thing with some folks who really need blackout. And do they have allergies, food sensitivities? You know, I have pets in my home, so that is something I always need to understand if that's going to be, you know, what degree that might be a problem. And are they coffee tea drinkers? How do they take their coffee? What time do they like to get up? If they are really early risers, you can tell the rest of your family, warn your kids, you know, they'll be up. Or maybe warn your kids that they will be awakened at 7:00 a.m. with a trumpet playing Revly, which is not theoretical. That is how my dad likes to roll. So

what way?

He's a military man and he likes being odd and controversial.

So I mean it's like really kind of getting getting into the minds of specifically who's going to be there and starting to answer these questions for yourself so then you can be prepared.

Yeah. The idea I mean I I would not call myself a really gracious host. I don't enjoy hosting and I don't do it often because I live in a tiny New York City apartment.

Strategy.

It's good strategy.

A couple things that I even have learned from you from talking to you even a few times. I'm like, "Oh, yeah. I should totally just keep allergy medicine in my medicine cabinet because I have a cat." Doesn't it feel so good when you have the thing you need? To me, it does. I I think Yeah, because I start to feel badly if someone feels badly around me. It's kind of selfish to be honest. It's like I'm really sensitive to how people are feeling and my goal is for ease. Any of that stops when people are experiencing discomfort and are afraid to ask how to fix it, you And that is just the basic stuff. So what are some small things that you do that you you know like the Ivy special that tell your guests, oh like my host thought of me?

For me it can just really be the smallest thing. It's not always, you know, about extravagantly spending a lot of money. My mother-in-law, my husband's mom is she is truly just thoughtfulness personified. And it meant so much to me. When my kids were little, we would be coming to visit. I'd get a phone call asking what size diaper they were wearing cuz it changes all the time. So she could just even have some there for us already and what snacks they were interested in eating at that time. That's also evolving with babies. She'd have wipes. It was mainly that I just felt so cared for that she was asking these questions. You know, adults like snacks, too. And you know, like little gestures for my family, knowing that my mother-in-law really loves citrus, you know, and having a little bowl of tangerines or a specific kind of hand soap that someone likes. also having a beverage there at the ready that they enjoy, whether it be alcoholic or just what kind of sparkly soda do they like. Really, I think just the thought that counts here. It really is. I mean, I think people really appreciate to have something when they come into a space

to wet their whistle. I don't Is that what they say? Just to sort of relax, decompress. Um, but the fact that you are slightly customizing it to them and it's in these regards it's kind of sensorial things, things that taste and feel like they've been considered.

That's so sweet. Um, whenever I go visit my brother and his partner in LA, I stay with them in their guest room and even if I come at 1:00 in the morning and they're asleep, my brother's partner will leave out a basket for me on the bed and it'll just be like, you know, the towel that I will need to shower and maybe like sour candy cuz she knows I love it. And it makes me like I could cry every time I see that.

When you come into someone's space, it can activate all these feelings of home or belonging or, you know, a consideration that maybe some of us didn't always have. And so, you never know when just a tiny little thing like that can really make someone feel very emotional or just really really appreciate you. And also to that end, you have guests coming in. It may not travel is weird and something might get messed up and maybe they're arriving way later than you expected them to. Are there things that you have ready for your guests on arrival or while they're in transit that you can send them that you prep for them so it makes it easier even if they've had a crazy travel day that they are like, "Okay, well, I still know where I'm going. I know how to get there and I know what to expect when I arrive."

Absolutely. So, this is where having created sort of a system really opened my eyes to how you don't need to be hosting a rental to to have value in this. having a list of things. It started just with a list of all these little nuanced things that I realized I might be explaining to someone in real time and trying to get this avalanche of information to actually land is not easy. And so writing it down really some basics would be Wi-Fi, passwords, if there are any appliances that have specific eccentricities, any light switches. Now for me, this was really embarrassing. We have a light switch, an overhead, the dreaded overhead that is oddly placed. It's on a light beam. We never had it moved. And I have had twice now where family was staying in our garden apartment and they slept with the overhead light on in this area in this specific. It's the big light. It was cuz they had gone to bed. I think they thought that I was asleep. They didn't want to text me and so they just slept with it on. And I

only took me two times to be like, "Okay, write this down. This light is weird. this is where this is. So, information about how to adjust the temperature, the idea of anyone being too cold specifically is is terrifying. And keys, how they can come and go easily or if there's a keypad, safety stuff. Here's the fire extinguisher. And depending on the person, safety stuff can be a real reduction in anxiety. A little first aid stuff, you know, here's a little first aid kit and that's ready for people. Also, in advance knowing if there is a baby or a kiddo, what kind of child proofing they may need. Is there a baby gate?

Oh my god, when I was an Airbnb host, the pack and play was so vital to have.

The pack and place.

Specifically around the holidays, there can be things that are tricky for kids. I will tell you like a Christmas village on the floor or slightly elevated is a hellscape for a toddler. They will just smash everything. Do you know

Godzilla?

Yeah, essentially Godzilla. Yeah. and that wants to eat I guess ceramics like they so just sort of thinking these things through and being aware because if you don't have kid you may not think that at all.

Mhm.

I know that you host professionally but are you suggesting for people who are hosting their family and friends at home over the holidays that they literally make like a guest packet like you would as if you are a host of an Airbnb.

I think it's really nice to have things in writing. So, I mean, however it comes, like a Google Doc that you just throw things into and share it is is pretty simple. I I do find that people really like being able to refer to something because they don't want to have to memorize whatever you said. Again, it wasn't that I created this for all guests, but it has such a nice application for anyone who's coming being like, "Here's the grocery store and like here's the Google link and here is, you know, whatever the coffee shop across the street opens at 7:00 a.m." Like, just these little pieces of information that make a person feel autonomous. And then also they don't have to bother you.

You can just have that forever. You can just make the Google doc and then you just always have it.

It's really handy.

Let's talk about the bathroom because I feel like that is one of the places where a host can really make or break somebody's experience. It can get tricky to kind of share your bathroom with your guests. You like you have your schedule. They might have their schedule. So, what should every host prepare for in that scenario before people arrive and and during?

It may go without saying, but just go wild with cleaning. Just clean it like you've never cleaned before. And having just an abundance of towels and hand towels, toilet paper, having some feminine hygiene products, toothpaste, body lotion, just little little nicities, things that you may use, but just noting that they're there is lovely.

A haird dryer is actually nice. I didn't know how many people in my life are hair drying. They didn't

Everyone's drying their hair. I I just don't have that skill. So having one is just letting them know all these things are there cuz also it'll change how people might pack. This is really fun. I learned this from a friend and she when I went into her bathroom and it was just one bathroom. It was her bathroom and she had collected all of these samples. Hotel minis, yes. um little soaps and shampoos and whatnot, but also little beauty samples, fun little bits, and it was like a single-use candy store. It was just all in a little tray. It wasn't fancy, but I felt it was like a delightful moment. And I absolutely felt, oh, it's so special. I can do this little toner for the first time. I mean, it won't be for everyone, but I will say I do that now. I just have this sort of glass container that I throw things in. And as soon as I did it, I noticed male friends, like it wasn't just relegated to the females. They were picking through and using a little special body lotion or whatever. And it just gave me a lot of joy because it felt like a little luxury I could share for them with like very little lift. You know, who doesn't love a little mini lotion from a nice hotel when you're traveling?

Oh my goodness.

Let's talk about the kitchen. The kitchen is another funny area. Uh, it can be one of those things where like, yeah, maybe your guests wake up way earlier than you and they're like, "Oh, I have to have my breakfast first thing in the morning and you're still asleep." How do you set up your kitchen so your guests feel welcome and taken care of throughout their stay without you turning into essentially like a short order cook?

I would say that it does start with just a little coffee or tea station or both. Making sure it's clear they're welcome to make coffee. if you have gotten their special caramel creamer or the thing that when you've asked how they take it, that's just that goes a long way to have their little bits there for them. Um, and just make it really easy and communicate that it's there. Here's the glasses for water and like any bits that they may want, keeping that open door kind of energy. So, since everybody has different coffee systems, depending on what you have, just taking a moment to walk them through this is how my coffee maker works. It's amazing. They all work the same, but everyone's intimidated to try a new one. I mean, it's mainly water and grounds. But you're right.

I just feel like it's like the shower situation. You just don't really know what to expect when you step in there. And then you start tinkering around. You're like, "Oh, I think I know how this works."

After you burn your foot.

Yeah, totally. And or your coffee. Really communicating to them. This is how it works. If you have any questions, I mean, sometimes these things can be helped to be put in writing. It just depends on the complexity. Yeah. And obviously now we're into coffee grinders and do we have a coffee gr I tend to have just ground beans for guests because it removes that step. But if they're really bougie coffee people like absolutely the nice grounds it's all there.

We've learned a lot and we're going to take a quick break now and when we're back we're going to talk about your best advice for setting up sleeping arrangements plus the hosting mistakes you tried to avoid. We will be right back.

Welcome back. Today we're talking about holiday overnight hosting with staff writer Ivy Lrod. Ivy, for those who are lucky enough to have a guest room, what are some things you'd recommend to make it feel cozy, a home away from home, if you will? So sleep is paramount for most people and some people have real light sensitivities. So one of the things to consider if you are not equipped with blackout drapes or shades, you can just get a simple tension rod and a blackout curtain and that goes a long way. So having that at the ready is a great idea. So my husband's very insistent that all mattresses need a topper. I don't know if the sleep team would agree, but having plenty of blankets. I know I'm mentioning him a lot, but he's a very sensitive bird. And so, one of his great terrors is being cold in life. And so, there must be enough blankets. Sensorally, sheets can be very divisive. I find percale sheets to be the least so the most neutral.

No, they're nice.

Yeah, that's like a nice sheet to have on a guest bed.

Well, you know, one set. I mean, you can we recommend some that are from Target. You know, linen is divisive and satine. Oh my gosh.

I mean, everyone's allowed their opinion, but I find them torturous and like

it's slippery and staticky at the same time. Don't get me started.

Yeah, we're not going to go there. Two pillows per person is a pretty nice thing. And a real pro move could be always having a sleep mask. If you're able to have a power strip beside the bed, an alarm clock is great. white noise machine or things like that like having these analog things for people. Very thoughtful. We use an air purifier that has a gentle hum. You can get a little quieter, but

I want to stay with you. This sounds like a luxury hotel experience.

Again, it helps to be married to someone where everything seems to bother him. So, we're perhaps overly considered. Scent is another thing that can be really polarizing and that can be a single note in a cleaning product or a single note in a fragrance of a candle or whatever. And so just using the air purifier as a scent neutralizer is something we always try and do if that is not the case with your guest. Having a sweet candle, a simple one, even if it's just not, you know, not burning. And the unpacking part, this is something I noticed just that people were dragging a little side table over and putting their suitcase on. A lot of people just leave their suitcase open the whole time.

They were using it as a makeshift luggage rack. And I was like, "Oh my gosh, we should have a luggage rack or have the table very obviously there for that. Grown-ups do not need to be on their hands and knees like digging around for jeans or whatever." So, you know, having hangers, just a couple hangers, hooks, steamer, if there's going to be a dress up moment.

Steamer is a great one,

you know, just if you have that, letting people know that it's there. It quills anxieties. Really, hosting is about anti-anxiety medication.

But it's kind of like you, it's nice to have all these things on hand, but you absolutely don't need to have every single thing for every single guest. But these are things that you could have in your home, and they're just nice for you to have, too.

Absolutely. and sometimes you have them and didn't tell anybody. So that's been my experience. It just feels really good to me to be able to offer something meaningful. It feels really loving. So

So we've talked about people who are fortunate to have guest room rooms. There are also plenty of people who don't have that. Maybe they have more guests than they have guest rooms or maybe they don't even have a guest room period and they're going to have to make use of the couch. What are some of your tips to make that situation feel more warm and welcoming for your guests? We have a sofa. It's actually a wire cutter pick that we already had that has the back cushions flip over. You can just remove black cushions if that's not your sofa. But having a sort of plan for maximizing the width of your sofa is a good idea. Just making up the bed thoughtfully with layers and a blanket. The way the couch

the bed couch. Yes. Cuz we put a a sheet down. I mean, we do many lay layering is if you can layer a couple different textures, it just starts to feel a little more lux. And that doesn't have to be stuff that you go out and buy. Having a nightstand, even if there's no nightstand there, a reading lamp or something that they can easily have light with. That's a way to sort of make the space feel a little bit more, I don't know, luxurious and and special. And also having a place for people to charge things. That's always a reality in this this universe.

So like a power strip next to the couch for sure

if you can. Yeah. Or just letting them know here's where you can charge.

What are some things that people tend to forget about when they are prepping their homes to host?

Uh kind of back to sense. It's awesome if you're cleaning and, you know, prepping for people, but I would offer caution because, you know, I had someone stay with us and they really thoughtfully cleaned like really thoroughly. They used a cleaning product that it was really strong and so it was such a thoughtful gesture, but we just try and clean with the most neutral type of cleaning products possible cuz we had to like air it out and just considerations around scent. And then this is maybe kind of esoteric. I'm going to get I'm going to get deep here.

Okay.

I think that a lot of people consider their spaces from the perspective of a photograph. I'm going to offer maybe that's the wrong emphasis. Pretty pictures are great, but design is really a vehicle for experience. That's its point. And so not overthinking the perfection of how the bed is set. I know it's lovely to do these things and I I advocate for them if if you feel like you can and it feels good, but I would suggest the emphasis be more on the experience of what it feels like to wake up in your in that space and move in between your spaces. Certain other realities will be considered like is there not enough clearance? Is the rug a tripping? these funny things that we think of secondarily because we sometimes get obsessed with this perfection moment and

photo finish almost

of course you want people to walk into your home immediately and be like gh it's beautiful it belongs in architectural digest

but maybe the couch isn't comfortable even though

you want to sleep in that house I'm wondering you know maybe a bowl of lines that nobody eats

no exactly I think that that's really important for people to remember because that's not what people take away if I'm in someone's home. I remember what it felt like. I don't really necessarily focus on what it looked like, even though it might have been beautiful.

To end this episode on a bit of a controversial note, do you have any tips for being a good host that doesn't encourage your guests to stay too long? I'm saying this because I'm thinking of a personal experience. Again, I love staying with my brother, maybe a little bit too much. I would live there with them if they would let me, and I want to make sure that I'm not overstaying my welcome. What is your host version of that to make sure that your guests enjoy their experience but don't overstay it?

I mean, I love this question. I think that it has less to do with things you may buy. Food runs out, the the products run out, but I think that this always comes back to communication. Some people, potential hosts, like feel uncomfortable with, but just being really specific and it's like, I'm so excited you're coming. I'm clarifying the dates. We have this going on. What's your plans after? just being really clear and there's a gracious way in which I think it's just being really specific and being really clear.

Okay. Well, before we wrap, what's the last thing you bought that you've really loved?

Okay. Well, my daughter was recently, she's a dancer like I was. Um, she was put on point in ballet and so we got her Yes, it's a really big deal. Um, we got her a ballet bar and a slightly padded Marley dance floor. It's small and yes, they are in the middle of my living room and it's awesome. It just I didn't have that growing up. It really hurts to go on point at first. It hurts period but you know and it just makes my inner child really happy. The other thing I will say is Gap has really been killing it for me right now and our oversized shirt that's one of our picks. I have now started a collection. So those are really good.

Multiple colors.

Yeah, they're stripes.

I love it. It's the year the stripes.

Well, thank you so much, Ivy, for giving us all of your incredible knowledge about hosting. It was a pleasure to have you on.

Oh, I'm really always happy to be here. Thank you.

For more tips or recommendations on our best hosting gear, go to nytimes.com/wirecutter or we'll link in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. The Wire Cutter Show is executive produced by Rosie Garin and produced by Abigail Keel. Engineering support from Mattie Maziello and Nick Pitman. Today's episode was mixed by Katherine Anderson. Original music by Dan Powell, Marian Lozano, Alicia Beetup, Katherine Anderson, Rowan Nisto, and Diane Wong. Cliff Levy is Wire Cutter's deputy publisher and general manager. Ben Fman is Wire Cutters editorin chief. I'm Kyra Blackwell. Thanks for listening.

My son sleeps with this sleep mask that makes you look like you're a blue man um from Blue Man Group. It's really funny looking and he left it in our living room once and my friend happened to be coming that day to stay and I think he just assumed it was for him. So my my grown man friend was wearing this very funny blue man mask to sleep every night and I was like man I should have a sleep mask because wow he really likes it. is really into it.