测量人生的起点：焦虑与觉醒
今天，有多少人会举手表示自己使用智能穿戴设备（Wearable）？比如 Fitbit、Oura、Apple Watch，来追踪健康数据？（举手）好了，大约一半。很有意思。那么，我们今天思考的问题是，不只是测量健康，而是能不能将测量的范围拓展到我们生活中所有重要组成的层面？
这一切对我来说，真正开始于我25岁之后不久。我开始持续地在深夜惊醒，伴随着剧烈的恐慌。很多人在夜里醒来时，头脑中会回荡着“待办事项清单”（To-do lists）。你们中的一些人，可能也有同样的经历？我确实有待办事项清单，但同时，我还有一个更宏大的“存在清单”（To-be list），核心问题是：我能否成为一个更好的人？我能否过上一种好生活？
我一直是一个相当不自信的人。但幸运的是，我有一位极其鼓励我的母亲。或许你们中也有这样的母亲。我的母亲，她的鼓励程度可能更甚。所以，脑海中回响着她的声音，我基本上会给自己一个答案：是的，我将会过上好生活。甚至，也许她是正确的，我将改变数百万人的生活，也许我能成为总统。
从25岁到33岁，我一直活在这种叙事里。直到我33岁，我发现自己并没有真正改变多少人的生活。然后我有一天得知，**比尔·克林顿（Bill Clinton）**在33岁时已经是州长了。这对你们大多数人来说可能没什么大不了，但问问我的妻子艾希礼（Ashley），这件事差点把我击垮。
我认为发生的是，那种由母亲灌输的、我一度拥有的“妄想症”被粉碎了。这让我开始真正审视自己的人生。我审视了自己的职业生涯，但我的友谊呢？我对社会的贡献呢？我的品格又如何？老实说，我审视了一番，我过得还行，但我并没有“蓬勃发展”（thriving），没有真正地“欣欣向荣”（flourishing）。
这时我意识到，很多人都未能过上好生活。为什么我会认为自己会自然而然地与众不同？如果50年后我醒来，发现自己并未成为理想中的那个人，该怎么办？我猜你们中有些人也有类似的思考，因为盖洛普（Gallup）的统计显示，只有33%的人在生活中是“蓬勃发展”的。那么，如果你和我一样，属于那剩下的66%，我们该如何进入那33%的行列呢？
Original English
Can I get a show of hands if you use a wearable? Fitbit, Oura, Apple Watch, track your health, come on. OK, OK, it's like 50 percent of you. I love this. So my question for us today, for you, but also the non-wearables, is what if we expanded from not just measuring our health but to measuring all the important parts of our lives? So this really started for me right after I turned 25, and I started to wake up in the middle of the night pretty consistently with these panics. A lot of folks wake up with to-do lists bouncing through their minds. A lot of you maybe, some of you? I had to-do lists, but I also had this major to-be list. Really just will I be a good man, will I live a good life? And now, I'm a pretty insecure guy generally. But I have this thing, I have one of those extremely encouraging moms. Which maybe some of you have. Mine is very likely more encouraging. And so, with her voice in my mind, I would basically answer the question, yeah, I am going to live a good life. In fact, maybe she's right, I will change millions of lives. Maybe I'll be president. So I had this narrative from 25 to about 33, and then I hit 33. And I haven't changed that many lives. And I find out one day that Bill Clinton was already a governor by 33, which to most of you is no big deal. But ask my wife, Ashley, that broke me. I think what happened is it kind of shattered this, sort of, mom-induced megalomania I had, and it made me take an actual look at my life. And so I looked at my professional life, but then what about my friendships? What about my contributions to society, what about my character? And honestly, I looked and I was fine, but I wasn't thriving, I wasn't flourishing. And so then it struck me, you know, Chris, a lot of people don't live good lives. Why do you think you would automatically be any different? What if I wake up in 50 years and I discover I have not become the man I wanted to be. I'm guessing some of you have similar thoughts, because Gallup tells us that only 33 percent of us are thriving in life. So if you're in the other 66 percent, like me, how do we get into the 33 percent?
“量化即管理”：构建美好生活的衡量体系
现在，我是一名管理顾问（management consultant）。我们深爱并坚信一件事情。如果你知道，请大声说出来。“凡是被衡量的，就会被管理”（What gets measured, gets managed）。来吧，各位，你们知道的。（笑声）
我们知道，大约50%的人使用智能穿戴设备来测量健康，并以此来管理健康。但我却找不到任何类似的工具，能够测量生活中所有重要维度的进展。因此，我创建了一个非常简单、但略显笨拙的Excel追踪器（Excel tracker）来使用。
所以，第一步是识别美好生活的各个维度（dimensions of a good life）。我从我的信仰（faith）开始，然后借鉴了那些研究过这些课题的思考者的见解。从亚里士多德（Aristotle）到所谓的哈佛幸福研究（Harvard Happiness Study），再到**马丁·塞利格曼（Martin Seligman）**的积极心理学，**克莱顿·克里斯坦森（Clayton Christensen）的《人生该如何衡量？》（“How Will You Measure Your Life?”），以及我的教授亚瑟·布鲁克斯（Arthur Brooks）**关于幸福感的研究，还有这项全球性“蓬勃发展研究”（global flourishing study），以及我同事们在BCG发表的一篇题为“为你的生活制定战略”（"Strategize Your Life"）的精彩文章。
最终，我为自己确定了这九个构成美好生活的维度。你们看到它们，可能会觉得，“相当明显，不是吗？” 这也正是关键所在，因为从古至今，这些要素都惊人地保持一致。它们是可知可感的。
第二步，就是测量。我在盖洛普（Gallup）工作过几年，如果你们了解他们。我曾有过一种奇怪的癖好，我喜欢构建调查问卷。于是，我将这九个维度转化成了一个大约20个问题的调查问卷，我几乎每天都会回答。当然，还有一些其他问题，我每周会回答一次，比如“对社会的贡献”。对我来说，这通常是每周的事情。我母亲认为我应该每天都做，但其实不然。（笑声）但对我而言，这些就是美好生活的图景。
在过去的18个月里，我基本上每天都在回答这些问题。我会在晚上9点，坐在沙发上，用手机完成，这真的只需要90秒。但是，朋友们，这对我来说，是一个彻底的改变。我的心理治疗师们告诉我——我同时有几位治疗师，我听说这可能不是最佳实践——但他们都认同的一点是：我有许多认知扭曲（cognitive distortions）。
Original English
Now I am a management consultant. And so there's one thing that we love and believe deeply. Say it with me if you know it. What gets measured, gets managed. Come on, guys, you know this. (Laughter) You know, what is it, 50 percent of us use wearables to measure our health, to presumably manage it, but I couldn't find anything like that to measure all the dimensions that mattered in life. So I created this super simple, kind of clunky Excel tracker that I use. So the first step was to identify the dimensions of a good life. So I started with my faith, but then I brought in insights from the thinkers who've studied this stuff. So from Aristotle to this thing called the Harvard Happiness Study to Martin Seligman's positive psychology to Clayton Christensen’s “How Will You Measure Your Life?” to my professor Arthur Brooks's research on happiness, to this global flourishing study and this cool article by my colleagues at BCG called "Strategize Your Life." And so I landed on these nine dimensions of the good life for me. You're seeing these and you're like, pretty obvious, right? Which is kind of the point, because from the ancients to the moderns, these ingredients have been remarkably consistent. They're knowable. So step two, measure. I had the privilege of working for Gallup for a few years, if you know them. And so I had this nerdy thing where I love building surveys. So I turned these nine dimensions into kind of a 20-ish question survey that I answer pretty much every day. Now, these are the questions. I have a few others I answer weekly, like contribution to society. That's sort of a weekly thing for me. My mom thinks it's daily, it's not. (Laughter) But these to me basically are the picture of the good life to me. And so for the past 18 months, I've essentially answered these questions every day. I do it at 9pm on my couch, on my phone, and it literally takes me 90 seconds. But folks, this has been a total game changer for me. My therapists have told me -- I have multiple therapists simultaneously, which I hear is not best practice, but here's what they agree on, which is I have a lot of cognitive distortions. So, you know, these things, some of you have them, you're like, yeah, I've got some of those, too.
克服认知扭曲：追踪器的力量
这些认知扭曲包括：非黑即白思维（all-or-nothing thinking）、灾难化思维（catastrophizing）、过度概括（overgeneralizing）。就像你打开新闻，发现整个世界都要崩塌了一样。
对我来说，一个月前我为这次TED演讲做准备时，我本以为自己状态不错。于是我把录音发给了一些导师，希望得到一些反馈。你知道，我其实是想听到一些积极的评价。（笑声）但其中两位很快就回复说：“克里斯，嗯，谢谢。也许我们应该谈谈。”
是的。我们聊了，他们俩都告诉我，我没骗你们，他们也事前没有商量过，这次演讲本身还好，但“有点太戏剧化了”。同时，不知怎么的，又“有点太平淡”。这如果像我一样，就会让我陷入恐慌。
所以，我做的就是——我没骗你们——我立刻去办公室一个暗间，在我通话结束后，拿出手机，开始记录我生活中在各个维度上“有缺陷”的所有方面。是的，公开演讲者显然做得不好，那工作呢？不够好。丈夫？不够好。朋友？糟糕。我告诉过你我有多不自信。但你看，这就是我的大脑会自动陷入的模式。
这时，追踪器（tracker）真的帮了大忙。这是五月份的一周。想象一下我的追踪器界面。这是一个尤其艰难的周一。有很多低分，高分不多。我填完了这份记录。我脑海中立刻冒出的想法是：“我的天，我的人生要完蛋了。”
但随后我退后一步，注意到我的周日过得还不错，相当好。我的周六也很好。然后我继续往前看。果然，克里斯，我只经历了一天的糟糕。治疗师们说得没错，我的情绪稳定性就像一个戏剧专业的学生。
几个月来，周一总会狠狠地打击我。有人讨厌周一吗？有两个人讨厌周一。我讨厌周一。这些是我几个月来，在几个周一的得分，横跨了多个维度。我没有好好爱我的妻子，我冲她撅嘴，她有时叫我“撅嘴裤”。我工作表现不佳，感觉压力很大，情绪处理得很糟糕，饮食也不健康。
但这里有一个重要的发现：我注意到了一个模式。那就是，周一通常都很糟糕，但这种“周一的风暴”总会过去，通常在周二或周三就会好转。这改变了我对周一的看法。因为，当你把一天糟糕的经历，像我常常做的那样，投射到永恒时，这与仅仅是“糟糕的一天”是根本不同的。而后者，你已经知道故事的结局了。
另外，我特别容易产生“隧道视线”（tunnel vision），尤其是在工作时。我妻子是个很注重后勤安排的人，而我在这方面不擅长。所以她会在工作时给我发关于后勤安排的短信。有一次，她发了12.5个小时的短信。我看到了，但我并没有真正“看到”那些短信，也没有回复。所以她了解我，她就给我发了一个日历邀请，发到了我的工作邮箱。我在30秒内就回复了。
这不仅仅是一个坏习惯。这实际上是我将自己“还原”到单一维度，尤其是在工作中的默认模式。你们有人也这样吗？追踪器也在这方面有所帮助。
这是我工作中的一个美好的一周。表现出色。但在精神层面，有点下滑。然后我看看其他维度，我本周初状态很强，但后来我有点“崩盘”了。你看，追踪器形象地提醒我，美好生活不仅仅是单一维度的。
每晚进行这项记录，它迫使我的大脑跨越各个维度进行优化，权衡取舍，并在需要时调整我的焦点。我大概永远不会忘记，有一次我坐在北卡罗来纳州山区的一间小屋里。一天晚上9点，我正在度假中填写我的追踪器，那天晚上不知何故，我突然意识到，“爱我的艾希礼”（loving Ashley）这个问题已经像闪烁的红灯一样困扰我好几个月了。而其他维度基本上都是绿色的。我过得挺好。
而不知为何，那一晚，我醒悟了。克里斯，这不是你婚礼上向艾希礼的承诺。这不是你对她所说的。你是否想回首自己的人生，发现你拥有一份好事业，但却忽视了你声称最看重的关系？那不是美好的生活。那是一种浪费了的人生。那是一种失败的人生。这件事对我打击很大。
于是我做出了一些改变，果然，几个月内情况开始转变。分数开始提高，我的妻子也注意到了。我常常想，如果我没有那个追踪器，我需要多久才能得到这样的“唤醒”？
Original English
So, you know, these things, some of you have them, you're like, yeah, I've got some of those, too. These are things like all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, overgeneralizing. Like when you pop up the news and you discover the sky is falling. So for me, I was prepping for this TED talk a month ago, and I was already in pretty good shape, I thought. And so I sent a recording of myself to some mentors, and I said, you know, I'd love some feedback. You know, I was asking for, like, positive feedback. (Laughter) But then two of them responded pretty quickly, and they said, "Chris, uh, thanks. Maybe we should talk." Yeah. And so we talked, and both of them told me, I kid you not, without consulting with each other, the talk was fine, but it was a little bit dramatic. And at the same time, somehow a little bit flat. Which, if you're like me, that sent me spiraling. So what I did, I kid you not, I went into a dark room in the office right after my calls, and I pulled out my phone and I journaled about all the ways in which I am defective across dimensions of life. So yeah, public speaker obviously bad, but what about at work? Not good enough. Husband? Not good enough. Friend? Bad. Told you I was insecure. But see, this is where my brain takes me. But the tracker really helps with this. So here's one week in May. Picture my tracker. And this is a particularly tough Monday. A lot of low scores, not many high scores. So I fill this one out. And my immediate thought is, oh my gosh, my life is falling apart. But then I take a step back, and I notice that my Sunday was fine. Pretty good. My Saturday was good. And then I keep going. And sure enough, Chris, I just had one bad day. And the therapists are right. I have the emotional stability of a theater kid. You know, for months, Mondays would hit me super hard. Anybody hate Mondays? Two people hate Mondays. Well I hate Mondays. And so these are my scores on several Mondays over a course of a few months, I get lowest scores across dimensions. I don't love my wife well. I pout at her, she calls me pouty pants sometimes. I didn't do well at work, I felt stressed, I handled my emotions poorly, I didn't eat well. But then here's the thing, I noticed this pattern. Which is the Mondays were typically bad, but this Monday storm always passes, usually by Tuesday or Wednesday, which shifts how I think about Mondays, because there's a fundamental difference between a tough day, when you project it out into eternity, as I often do, and a bad day, when you already know the end of the story. And I also get tunnel vision, especially at work. My wife is a big logistics gal, and I'm not a big logistics guy, so she'll text me at work for logistics. And this one time she did this for 12.5 hours straight. And I saw the text, but I didn't really see see the text, I didn't answer. And so she knows me, and so she sent me this calendar invitation to my work email. And I responded in 30 seconds. So that's not just this bad habit. It's really my default to reduce myself to one dimension. Especially at work. Anyone else? But the tracker helps with that too. So here's a great week at work. Crushed it. But then spiritually, kind of off. And then I look at other dimensions, and I started out the week strong, but then I kind of fell apart. See, the tracker visually reminds me that the good life is not just one dimension. In doing this every night, it forces my brain to optimize across dimensions, to balance the trade-offs and to adjust my focus when needed. You know, I'll probably never forget, I was sitting in a cabin in mountains of North Carolina. It was 9pm one day, and I was filling out my tracker on vacation, and it struck me that night for some reason that my loving Ashley question had been flashing red at me for months. And the other dimensions were basically green. I was doing fine. And for some reason, that night, it struck me. Chris, this is not the promise you made Ashley on your wedding day. This is not what you said to her. Is this the way you want to look back on your life? That you had a good career, but you neglected the one relationship that you claim is the most important to you? That is not the good life. That is a wasted life. That is a failed life. And that hit me super hard. So I made some changes and sure enough, within a few months things started to shift. The scores were improving, but my wife noticed. And I often wonder, if I hadn't had the tracker, how long would it have taken me to get this wake-up call?
邀请加入：量化你的美好生活
好了，说到这里，有些人可能觉得：“这套方法对你管用，但我没那么强的自律性” 或者 “我不喜欢这么多的系统”。“我不喜欢Excel”。我理解。但我想说的是：我喜欢填写我的追踪器。而且我不认为这是因为我是一名顾问，喜欢Excel。我确实喜欢Excel，但那是因为我能感觉到自己正在成为一个更完整的人。
但我是个顾问，所以我确实为你们构建了三个版本的追踪器（laughter），轻量版、标准版、重量版。所以你们可以下载它们，今晚就开始衡量你们的生活。
你知道，我有时还是会在凌晨3点醒来，但现在我不再恐慌了。我知道我正在管理我生活的全貌，因为我正在衡量它。我邀请你们，加入我。因为你所衡量的生活，可能正是那美好的生活。谢谢大家。（掌声）
Original English
OK, so at this point some of you are into this, some of you are like, "This is fine for you, but I'm not that disciplined" or "I don't like that much system." I don’t like Excel. So I get that, but here’s the thing. I love filling out my tracker. And I don’t think it’s because I’m a consultant and I like Excel. I do like Excel. But it’s because I feel myself becoming a more full human. But I am a consultant. So I did build you three versions of my tracker. (Laughter) The light, medium, heavy. So you can download these and actually measure your lives tonight. You know, I still wake up sometimes at 3am, but now I don't really panic anymore. I know I'm managing the full picture of my life because I'm measuring it. And I’d invite you, join me. Because the life you measure just might be the good life. Thank you. (Applause)