Anna Martin: Love now and you fall in love. Love that was stronger than anything. For the love of love. And I love you more than anything. There's still love. From the New York Times. I'm Anna Martin. This is Modern Love.

Anna Martin: So, for the past month, we've been asking you to send us the most romantic things that have ever happened to you. All because it's Valentine's Day this week. Happy Valentine's Day. And what is Valentine's Day about but romance? But I've been wondering like, what does romance really mean to people? How does it actually show up in our lives? What's the kind of romantic gesture you keep talking about years later? We got so many responses from all of you, and I feel like I'm always saying this, but I wish we could play them all. We did listen to every single one, though. Today, we are going to hear some of your stories, and then, my friends, I'm speaking with the Queen and King of Valentine's themselves. All right, sit back, relax, and let the romance wash over you.

[Listener A]: My most romantic experience occurred on February 14th, 2025, Valentine's Day, only 3 months ago.

[Listener B]: It was actually December 16th, 2024 when I met my now wife. I lived in New York City. He was stationed in Hawaii.

[Listener C]: I was in the first few months of a relationship. We were standing on a street corner at one point in the middle of the day waiting to cross the street. He looked over at me. He kissed me. And meanwhile, one of those classic trolley cars was riding by. And this one man who was on the back of the train saw us kiss and he leaned out like he was like in Singing in the Rain and waved at us and he shouted, "He loves you. He really really loves you."

[Listener D]: My husband introduced me to running long before we were married and we were married for 38 years when he passed away. He encouraged me so much. He was my biggest cheerleader. He'd write me notes, always be the first person I'd call after a marathon. But the thing that he did that was the best and most romantic thing was that every night when we'd sit on the couch, he would ask me to put my feet into his lap, my gnarly, ugly, running feet, and he would rub them. It was such a tender and romantic gesture. I'll never forget it.

[Listener E]: Our first date was at a jazz bar. Sometime into the date I made a second order of a mamu which is a date cookie. It's one of my favorite cookies. On our second date, we meet up and he pulls something out of his pocket and says he has a surprise for me. And in his palm is a wrapped mamu cookie because he remembered that I said that I liked it on our first date. On our third date, the same thing happened. On our fourth date, our fifth date, our sixth date, he continued to have mamul cookies that he bought in bulk and made sure to always have one to give me every time we started our date.

[Listener F]: Mine's not very grand. I am partially deaf in my left ear. If I'm in a space with a lot of noise, I can barely hear a thing. That can lead me to feeling quite isolated and frustrated. Well, my partner who I've been with for about four years now, anytime we're out somewhere, he is the first one to the table, and he always makes sure that I have a seat at the place where I could best hear the entirety of the group. He does this without me asking him to. And that just makes me smile every time he does it.

[Listener G]: Halfway through the night, I woke up very warm. I sat up and I was really struggling to get my sweatshirt off without it taking my t-shirt with it. Kind of out of nowhere and silently he reached over and I felt his hand kind of grasp the lower part of my t-shirt and I was able to then easily take off my sweatshirt. He gave my back a little pat and then he rolled over and fell back asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I just thought, "God, that's so nice to have someone who's notice that you're struggling and just kind of lend a hand."

[Listener H]: I have this thing that's really embarrassing. I am superstitious and I have to knock on wood before bed. When I moved in with my boyfriend John, I was nervous he would catch me. And one day he did catch me. He listened as I told him about how it's hard when we go camping or I am traveling for work and there is no wood to knock on nearby. He lay silently for a while and then said, "Can I make you a knocking block so you can take it with you anywhere?" It showed me what it feels like when even the least impressive parts of you are welcome.

[Listener I]: A long time ago I had my first boyfriend. I explained that I felt self-conscious about all the spots. He was quiet as he kneled on the floor beside me and he slowly traced the dark freckles on my legs with his finger. Maybe if we connected the dots, he said, eventually we could find all the constellations.

[Listener J]: The two of us were very broke college students and wanted to celebrate Valentine's Day and we found a very fancy nice restaurant. There were these two elderly women kind of a few tables down from us. When it came time for us to get the check, the server had said that our dinner was actually covered by those ladies. They wanted to let us know that love is all around. I think sometimes romance can be found so deeply in community as well and the small actions by the people around us.

Anna Martin: The stories you all sent us, they were so lovely to listen to. So, thank you again. We did have one person write in though to tell us about a couple who does their romantic gestures very publicly. For the past 30 years, Lonnie Anderson has been making these huge over-the-top Valentines for his wife Anne Buler Witherspoon. Ann Bulger Witherspoon, Lonnie Anderson, welcome to Modern Love.

Lonnie Anderson: Hello.

Anna Martin: Lonnie, you have been called by many people the king of Valentine's Day. What is this tradition?

Lonnie Anderson: Well, I don't know if I would say I'm the king. But yeah, I love my wife very dearly and for 30 years I have tried to come up with, you know, a creative and wonderful Valentine for her. We had the National Planetarium reprogram the dome so that it says I love an in the stars. I projected all the Valentine's downtown in Albuquerque on a giant building like a 20s story building.

Ann Buler Witherspoon: So along the same theme, one year Lonnie kind of put various I love an signs on my drive home. Anything that like all the signage you see around your neighborhood said I love I just I just switched out and it ended with a a large I love an mural in the neighborhood.

Lonnie Anderson: You've also turned the house into a restaurant. We had what the most famous chef in Albuquerque come and do it. Another thing we did is in this big historic theater just me and an, they played one song for an and we were the only two people in the audience. I made a giant crop circle. So I did a giant heart with her name. It was the size of this huge field. It can only be seen from space.

Anna Martin: I have to know like how did this start? An tell me the story of the first Valentine Lonnie ever gave you.

Ann Buler Witherspoon: So we had just started dating. He was living in Portland and I was living in Albuquerque. He had converted the living room into a game board.

Lonnie Anderson: I made these giant dice. You would roll the dye and as you moved through the game board there would be various questions or various activities like have a piece of chocolate pour a glass of champagne, tell me something that I don't know about you.

Ann Buler Witherspoon: So there's discovery to be had. I think the first inclination of like, oh well, this is a little bit of a over-the-top and when is it going to putter out, right? And it did and then the next year. What became apparent in all of that is that it wasn't just to hook me, it really there is a passion behind it.

Anna Martin: Lonnie, why go that big, that hard that soon?

Lonnie Anderson: I mean, it's simple. It's love. When you're in love, what do you do? You do crazy stuff because you're so over the top. I'm not in charge of how much Ann loves me, but I am in charge of that I love her.

Ann Buler Witherspoon: Anna, as these Valentine have gotten bigger and bigger they've also gotten more and more public. Was that transition hard?

Ann Buler Witherspoon: I'm probably a much more private person than him. And then there came a point where I really sort of said this isn't about Ann anymore. This is a gift I can give back to Lonnie and that it's larger than myself now. I'm okay with the idea that it has moved from the more quiet intimate towards larger and more inclusive and grander.

Anna Martin: My final question, obviously I'm dying to know what the heck this year's Valentine's Day is. Can you leave the room for like one second?

Lonnie Anderson: So this year instead of giving her a box of candy, we are going to give her an entire candy store. There's this historic over 100-year-old candy store. They made this giant sign for the front of this candy store that's made out of jelly beans. Thousands of jelly beans and then it says Ann. And then the candy stores agreed to make custom candies for her. And then all of these people that helped with the chili beans, they all put the person that they love their name on a little heart. They're going to give her an entire candy store.

Anna Martin: Wow, Lonnie. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. Thanks for listening.