One year ago, this channel shared stories of young people who moved from the countryside to big cities, struggling and striving in their careers and lives. These stories, filled with sweat and strength, gave many people hope. Hope is a free gift from God that keeps us going.

Today, I want to share a similarly moving story from a listener. This friend described how, during a period of seemingly hopeless "garbage time," he ultimately changed his destiny through relentless effort and persistence. He came from a small town in Jiangxi, later studied and worked in Wuhan, and eventually achieved a breakthrough in his life by persistently studying English for five years.

This story shows us how, in an era full of uncertainty, an ordinary person can become their own source of light through strong personal will and a sense of responsibility for their life. This leads to the core question we want to explore today: Who is the primary person responsible for our lives?

Often, we feel that our lives are stagnant, as if being held back by an invisible force. We feel exhausted as our beliefs, passions, and hopes are slowly eroded. We frequently attribute the cause to external factors: the influence of our family of origin, intense social competition, systemic constraints, and so on.

Behind this lies a profound issue: the misplacement of personal responsibility. In Chinese society, three main reasons contribute to this phenomenon.

First is the prevalence of a "giant infant" culture. Historically and culturally, Chinese society lacks a tradition of individual independence. From early education to the broader social environment, there is an emphasis on passive and dependent relationships. People are accustomed to blaming their life's misfortunes on their parents, family, or even the country, rarely reflecting on their own responsibilities. This relationship of control and being controlled extends from the family to society, making it difficult for true personal responsibility to take root.

Second is the state-dominated life planning. From birth to education and employment, many people's life trajectories are placed within a preset framework. People become accustomed to being arranged and assigned, thereby losing the ability and willingness to make their own decisions. Even with a high degree of marketization today, pursuing civil service exams or entering the state system remains a top choice for many. This reflects a desire for stability and being taken care of, as well as an evasion of the risks associated with personal choice. They would rather cede control of their lives in exchange for a seemingly "grand" collective reason.

Third is the rhetoric of "fake, big, and empty" responsibility. Our society is filled with grand narratives of responsibility, demanding that you be accountable to your family, society, and the country. However, these responsibilities are often vague and boundless. Under this discourse, "being responsible for oneself" becomes the least valued aspect. When a person cannot define the boundaries of their own responsibility, they cannot truly be responsible for anything.

So, how can we break these shackles and become the primary person responsible for our own lives? I believe there are several key points.

First, you must clearly distinguish between what you can control and what you cannot. This is ancient wisdom, a core idea proposed by the Greek **Stoic** (Stoicism: a school of philosophy emphasizing inner peace and virtue) philosopher **Epictetus**. We cannot control the world, how others perceive us, or even our family of origin. But we can control our own thoughts, choices, and actions. A mentally mature person focuses their time and energy on what they can control—such as maintaining health, nurturing relationships, and continuously learning—rather than wasting it on things they cannot change.

Second, shift your mindset from external attribution to internal reflection. When faced with setbacks, instead of instinctively complaining about the environment or others, reflect on yourself: What can I do? What is my next step? This change in thinking will transform you from a passive victim into an active agent. You will start to think about what you truly possess and what resources you can leverage, rather than dwelling on what you lack.

Finally, and most importantly, do not be afraid of failure. Many people are afraid to take responsibility because they fear the consequences of failure. But life is a journey of constant trial and error. Especially for young people, failure is the most valuable asset for growth. Every failure is a learning opportunity that helps you better understand reality and yourself. Daring to try, learning from mistakes, and quickly adjusting your course is the true path to success.

If each of us can take full responsibility for our own lives, these small changes will accumulate and ultimately transform the face of society.