Last weekend, We used two videos, Analyzed the book "The Courage to Be Disliked" Problems.

Many netizens also commented in the comment section, Shared my sincere and profound thoughts.

At that time we said, The book emphasizes teleology, It's actually very simple and crude.

You can also say, It is a low-cost means of psychological comfort.

The reason why we say low cost, Because it doesn't require you to consider the real politics, Constraints of history, economy and social structure.

You don't need to trace your personal history. Analyze the causes. Just need to point out, Your misfortune is your own fault.

But you can rewrite your experience from the present moment, To achieve inner transcendence.

This is indeed a simple and rapid growth theory. But this theory can easily become a tyranny against oneself.

When it is used on others, This often constitutes a very severe criticism.

It is especially worth considering, Although the author Ichiro Kishimi said, I can't let go of Adler's ideas. But if we take his book, Compare with Adler's "Inferiority and Self-Awareness", It is easy to find that the two ideas are very different.

Adler explored early memory, School, Parents, Adolescence, How does it affect the human mind?

He analyzed a lot of, Real problems beyond individual psychology, Arguing that society should be for individuals, Creating healthier growth conditions. But never claimed, A person can overcome all trauma with courage alone.

We know, Due to Japan's huge influence on China in modern times, The Enlightenment and Liberalism as understood by the Chinese, This was largely learned from Japan.

Or, After being recounted, processed and interpreted by Japanese scholars.

The psychology popular in Chinese society, There are often traces of Japanese individualism. But it may also make Chinese people more interested in freedom and independence. There is a deeper misunderstanding.

So this video, Let’s continue chatting, The spiritual origin of the courage to be hated, And how Japanese individualism influenced China.

We say that many Western ideas were introduced to the East. Often undergoes great distortion, even, The meaning was interpreted as being completely opposite to the original idea.

Many people may attribute this to, These scholars are not well-educated and do not study hard.

Actually, I think, The exchange of ideas and debate has limited value.

No philosophy is purely rational. But an embryo with emotions.

One's philosophical view, Seemingly the product of rational thinking, But in fact, Often comes from his emotional structure and life experience, Especially the part he failed to realize and integrate.

Many philosophers have been thinking about their lives, They are all echoes of my early experiences. It's just more complex language and logic. Wrapping Up.

for example, Foucault's strong critique of disciplinary power, His interests in homosexuality, medicine, and prisons, And the deconstruction of concepts such as truth and knowledge, and suspicion, With his father, a doctor who was particular about discipline and control, A deep relationship.

And if a person, Failure to integrate one’s own emotions and experiences, Even if he is exposed to some very new ideas, However, his inner experience, This idea will also be reflected. Distortion and reinterpretation.

Although he may have adopted new discourse, But the kernel may not have changed.

For example, some people come into contact with existentialism, It only exacerbated the sense of meaninglessness of life. because, He has been experiencing a state of emptiness for a long time.

For example, We mentioned in this video, Pol Pot came to Europe to study when he was young, The result became more crazy.

Intellectuals from Eastern Countries, The reason why we can always draw inspiration from Western philosophy, Deciphering the colors of saintliness, To a large extent, Also because, Their upbringing was indeed harsh. I have never felt the spirit of humanity and fraternity.

Therefore, the key to growth is not to read more, It is a continuous and in-depth self-exploration, And understand and discover your own hidden life experience, Often more than abstract philosophical debates, Can lead a person's growth and progress.

Then in "The Courage to Be Disliked", Behind the seemingly rational thought, What unique life experiences does the author have? And experience?

In fact, when I was reading this book, I've always had a feeling, Even though the author has been emphasizing that trauma does not exist, With courage, people can overcome trauma in an instant. But I always feel, Behind this seemingly independent and strict thought, It hides huge pain and trauma.

There are many similar rhetoric, For example, "Freedom is being hated by others", “As long as people exist, they have value”.

When we savor these words, You will feel, He was not motivated by genuine confidence and optimism. It's better to say that there is a kind of faint despair and sadness.

As long as we understand the author's own experience, It is easy to understand this.

Actually, Ichiro Kishimi's life is not only far from freedom, Even very depressing and unfortunate.

In The Courage to Be Disliked, There is a conversation like this: The philosopher said: I have had a bad relationship with my father since I was a child. There has never been any real dialogue or communication. My relationship with my father deteriorated after my mother passed away in my 20s.

The young man asked: Why is your relationship with your father not good? The philosopher said: I was often beaten by my father when I was a child. I only remember being beaten and running under the table. He was dragged out by his father and beaten severely. And this is not a one-time, But many times.

The young man said this became a kind of psychological trauma. The philosopher refused to admit this. He said, The reason why I always think of the memory of being beaten by my father, Precisely because, I didn't want to have a good relationship with my father.

Why? Because if I bring out this memory of being beaten, I can make my life unsatisfactory, Blame it on the father. I can avenge my father.

That’s why, As long as I change my purpose, Then I can mend my relationship with my father.

Young people still don't believe. The philosopher said that this is still a problem of separation of topics. My father may not even remember beating me.

but, When I decided to repair my relationship with my father, What kind of lifestyle does your father have? How does he see me? It has nothing to do with me.

Even if the other party does not want to repair the relationship, it does not matter. The question is whether I have made up my mind. The relationship card is always in my hand.

actually, When I first saw this passage, I felt an incredible indifference.

This seemingly calm and rational attitude, Behind it is an unfathomable fear, That is the fear of facing one's true pain. It is also a defense mechanism to cut off emotions. It is an escape rather than a transcendence.

And this, This is also the true experience of the author Ichiro Kishimi himself.

Ichiro Kishimi was born in Kyoto, Japan in 1956.

Due to some setbacks, He didn't complete his doctorate until he was 31. He didn’t get his first formal job until he was 40.

Why did his life start so late?

Because his main focus, Focused on taking care of parents. It can be said that, He has lived his whole life in bondage to his parents.

According to public reports, During the period of working in the institute, His mother fell ill due to a stroke. He spent 18 hours a day at his mother's bedside. This caused his studies to be delayed.

After working for three years, Too much fatigue and stress, He had to resign, Do some less intensive part-time jobs and write books at home.

At the age of 51, he suffered a myocardial infarction. This forced him to stay at home. So he couldn't go out to work for several years.

later, He felt that he could finally go out to work. My father has Alzheimer's disease again. Loss of memory and ability to take care of oneself.

So Kishimi Ichiro started taking care of his father again. This care lasted for more than ten years.

In his other book, "Learning to Protect Aging Parents from Adler", He recorded a lot of details about caring for his father. For example, cooking for my father every day and cleaning the toilet. Except for sleeping time, I stayed with my father almost all day.

In this book, He said he often recalled his childhood, My father beat me. But he reiterated, I don't hate my father because I was beaten. It was because I didn't want to be close to my father. I used the beating as an excuse. I often recall the experience of being beaten.

He concluded, Because you don't want to associate with other people. You will think that the world is dangerous and others are enemies.

He also believes, When children and parents argue, Parents always forget easily. This shows that parents want to maintain a good relationship with their children. The children are always worried, There is a psychological shadow. This shows that the children have made up their minds. Not maintaining a good relationship with parents. Only then can I search for available memories from the past. Help them make up their minds.

That's it. I think we actually understand. What Ichiro Kishimi said, What does courage and freedom mean?

On the surface, he praises subjective initiative. But this dynamism, It seems to be only reflected in, Adaptability to traditional power structures.

He did not point to any meaningful resistance, and reflection. It is better to say, It is a gentle and wise discipline for the victims.

Why can't a person, What about blaming your father for being violent towards you?

as well as, Why mend the relationship with your father? Is it unconditionally valuable?

Kishimi did not question these assumptions. Instead, use psychological language, Rationalize these patriarchal and Confucian ethics.

That is, If your father hits you, You can't blame. That is your deepest desire to avenge your father.

If my father doesn't change, It doesn't matter. You can take the initiative by separating the topics.

Your parents beat you for your own good. No matter how bad your dad is, he is still your dad.

This is consistent with the 'Book of Rites' saying 'Parents have, Be humble and cheerful, and give advice in a gentle voice, 'If you don't accept the advice, you will be respectful and filial.' It can be said that they are completely connected.

Even if the parents are wrong, You also need gentle advice. If parents don't listen, You have to be more respectful. Continue to advise when your parents happy. In short, parents have the natural right to be exempted from responsibility. The children must bear the responsibility of reconciliation.

In short, parents have the natural right to be exempted from responsibility. The children must bear the responsibility of reconciliation.

This idea and the author believe, Even if the leader issues the wrong order, It is a truth that subordinates also have to bear responsibility.

In fact, a person can certainly do something out of free will. Choose to reconcile with your parents. Choose to repair your parents' relationship.

However, When a person, Still under established ethical pressure, and social and cultural disciplines, He has no real independent choice.

If he were to try to choose freely, Then we should first try to refuse to repair, and the freedom not to forgive.

Speaking of which, We can actually understand, Why Kishimi Ichiro, Read Adler or Plato, After so many years of reading, But he proposed such a strange philosophy.

Need to know, He is a PhD student specializing in the history of Western philosophy. It can be said that, I have been reading Western philosophy and psychology all my life.

This is not simply a matter of not learning. This is precisely because his trauma is too deep.

If a person, I haven't really touched my deepest emotions. Not really seen and heard by another soul. He does more reading, It can only stay at the surface level of understanding. Maybe even philosophy. Created a more sophisticated defense.

Philosophy and Psychology Core, It is never just a knowledge system. It is the state of human existence and life experience.

certainly, This isn't to blame him. Just try to learn from his life experience, To understand his ideas.

In fact, It is precisely because his life was too rough and unfree, So 'The Courage to Be Disliked' became a bestseller.

Maybe in his life, For the first time, I felt the joy of being recognized and seen.

In 2015, he was interviewed by Chosun Ilbo. Criticism of Japanese media, No coverage of his book. The fact that it became a bestseller in Korea.

This shows that he did not do what he said in his book. Just enjoy the moment, Don’t care about others’ recognition and evaluation. On the contrary, he longs for recognition from others.

It's better to say that it's because I'm too eager but can't get it for a long time. He developed a value of denying recognition.

Only by courage, It can overcome all psychological defense mechanisms.

In fact, in the book that protects parents, He also said that he wanted to work hard. But it happened that my father was sick. I also feel that taking care of my father is very painful. But it's a matter of course. So I had to sacrifice myself. Learn to protect your father. Build a good relationship with your father.

if, According to his logic in The Courage to Be Disliked, There is no such thing as natural law in the world. All the difficulties people face are their own choices. There is nothing you have to do.

When you convince yourself with the truth, When I had to take care of my father, In fact, you are evading your responsibility.

His thoughts, This huge inconsistency between life, It's actually a product of compromise.

His life reality, It is the concept of family obligations and filial piety. And the pain and loneliness that shroud.

He has long lacked external recognition. I have also suppressed my emotional needs for a long time.

To compensate for this shortcoming, He developed the following logic: “Although I haven’t lived a truly free life, But I can tell others, Freedom is not caring about other people's opinions, You can choose to transcend all trauma with courage."

But this is just, He has been unable to break free from filial piety for a long time. And after the shackles of trauma, In order to maintain a little psychological sovereignty, The mythical story constructed.

This is actually, Also China, Or a characteristic of Japanese individualism.

For example, constantly emphasizing, You have to accept that you are an ordinary person. Live in the present moment. Don't dwell on the past. Learn to separate topics. Don't care about other people's opinions. Don't be too self-conscious, etc.

These words sound like they call for freedom and power. In fact, they are just using a set of psychological rhetoric, To rationalize the indifference they suffer, Alienation and loneliness. It's teaching you not to expect to be loved anymore.

This East Asian individualism, It is completely devoid of the grandeur of Western individualism. Universal and transcendent spirituality.

For example, in Rousseau, The self is man in his natural state. It is the pure subject before the corruption of society.

In Kant, The self is a rational legislator. The source of moral law.

In Nietzsche, Self is a rebellion against fate. A re-creator of value.

In short, the self in the Western context, There is a force that expands outward, To impact the world, to create meaning, The existence that changes destiny.

In the individualism of China or Japan, The human self is a thing that needs to be hidden. Something to soothe and dissolve.

It seems to be a, Let the parties fall into misfortune for no apparent reason, Trouble Maker. A person who keeps pretending to be traumatized. A black box to evade responsibility. Rather than needing to be understood, Empathy and the development of personality structure.

Let’s talk about this for today. We will continue to discuss this topic in the next episode.

Thank you for watching, goodbye!